Thursday, June 30, 2011

Louisiana Bound!

Headed to the "Pelican State" at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow to spend the holiday weekend with my brother and his family. I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Independence Day weekend!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My Kind of Airline!

Malaysia Airlines institutes a ban on babies in first class seating on its airlines.

"That's what it's come down to at Malaysia Airlines, after the carrier decided to implement a ban on babies in the first class cabins of their new Airbus A380 aircraft. Those planes are expected to come into service next year."

As someone who isn't a fan of children, especially when traveling, this is awesome. Of course the screaming little tots will still be allowed in Business Class and in Steerage rowing with the rest of the slaves in the back.

I like the conclusion that those who pay the big bucks for seating on a plane shouldn't have to put up with a baby crying throughout the flight.

What does everyone else think? Should airlines in America adopt a similar policy? Am I just an asshole?

Whatcha Wearin This Wednesday?

I can't believe June is almost over! From W.T.F. Weekly Meme:

1) I keep hearing about some cell phone game called "Angry Birds." I've never played it, but I do know what it's like to deal with angry birds in my office's parking garage. Those things will viciously dive at your head. What do you think makes birds so angry?

I would imagine that they are protecting a nest somewhere close. I too have never played "Angry Birds," I usually just play "Words With Friends" if I play anything on my cell phone.

2) You've been asked to house-sit for someone (a friend, coworker, family member, whomever else it may be). Do you go snooping throughout the house or do you totally respect their privacy?

I've only house-sat once for a friend of mine many years ago and I would never go snooping through a friend's house!

3) You turn on the news on your television and see the home you grew up in (or spent a large chuck of your childhood in) going down in flames. Are you sad that the house is on fire or happy that the house will no longer be standing?

I wouldn't care, in fact I would hope that the flames would spread and take out my entire home town!

4) Do you eat Oreos by taking them apart and licking out the cream first or do you bite right in? Do you dunk them in milk?

If I ever eat Oreos, which is rare, I just bite into them with milk. I'm more of a chocolate chip cookie kind of guy.

5) Have you ever had to call 911 (or whatever emergency system your town has if you don't have 911)? If so, what for?

I've never called 911 but I did call the non-emergency line when a drunk driver took out my jeep a couple of years ago.

6) You and your significant other are out on a date at a fancy restaurant. The waitress brings your bill, and it's $75, but you notice that the waitress forgot to add the $16 dessert that you ordered to the bill. Do you go ahead and just pay the $75 or be honest and say that she forgot to add in the dessert?

I would let the server know that they under charged us. I've been in that position before as a server. Here in Oklahoma servers make $2.13 an hour so the higher the ticket the higher the potential tip.

7) Are you a "fix-it-yourself" or a "call-somebody-to-fix-it" type of person?

It depends on the work. I've done about everything one can do to a house except plumbing and electrical work.

8), a company that produces many political themed dolls has released now-ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner dolls -- one has anatomically correct genitals while the other has the freakish no-genitals look. Both are dressed in a gym shirt and shorts with a label that reads "Tweet This." If a company made a doll in your likeness, would you want it to be anatomically correct or not?

I'm sure the anatomically correct doll would be the bigger seller!

9) If you found an unmarked suitcase full of cash in the middle of the street, what would you do?

My first impulse would be to buy some shoes but I'm sure I would turn it in to the authorities and hope for a reward.

10) It's the middle of the night and you start getting text messages from an unknown number. The first says, "Hey sexy. Im thinkin about you. Whatcha wearin?" When you don't respond, several texts follow. Do you 1) shut off your phone, 2) text back saying they have the wrong number, or 3) play along for a bit and screw with the person?

This has happened to me in a way. Usually it's someone I gave my number to at a bar or an event. I would reply to the texts to see what was up.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

News Around the Country

Everyone's favorite bat shit crazy Teabagger, Representative Michele Bachmann announced her candidacy for the Presidency yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa. There's a great story by Matt Taibbi in the latest issue of Rolling Stone discussing Bachmann's rise to politics and why she should actually be taken seriously.

"Bachmann is a religious zealot whose brain is a raging electrical storm of divine visions and paranoid delusions. She believes that the Chinese are plotting to replace the dollar bill, that light bulbs are killing our dogs and cats, and that God personally chose her to become both an IRS attorney who would spend years hounding taxpayers and a raging anti-tax Tea Party crusader against big government. She kicked off her unofficial presidential campaign in New Hampshire, by mistakenly declaring it the birthplace of the American Revolution. 'It's your state that fired the shot that was heard around the world!' she gushed. 'You are the state of Lexington and Concord, you started the battle for liberty right here in your backyard.'"

A subscription to Rolling Stone is worth it just for Taibbi's articles.

Wisconsin takes its politics seriously:

"Liberal Justice Ann Walsh Bradley has accused conservative Justice David Prosser of trying to choke her during an argument in her state Capitol office on June 13, the day before the court handed down a decision upholding a new law that eliminates most public employees' collective bargaining rights. Prosser has denied the allegations."

Wow. What a bunch of asshattery! Either a Supreme Court Judge is trying to kill a colleague or someone is lying about it. I'm siding with Justice Ann Walsh Bradley, you know, because conservatives are kooky!

Coinciding with many Gay Pride events around the country, the New York State Legislature passed a same-sex marriage measure, becoming the sixth and largest state to do so. What makes this amazing, to me, is that the passage of the bill was a bipartisan effort in the Senate where Republican votes were needed to get the bill to Governor Cuomo. I'm sure Oklahoma will follow the Empire State's lead... in about 20 years.

Asteroid 2011 MD came within 7500 miles of impact with the Earth before being hurled out the planet's way. Holy shit! Though the asteroid was only the size of a bus, what I find disturbing is that it wasn't detected until last week. It really goes to show how fragile our little blue rock in space may be.

A friend of mine posted on Facespace that Democrats make the best lovers. Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant?

Finally, in an extremely rare event, water fell from the heavens this morning coating the mangled yards of many Oklahoma City residents. Scientists are calling this unusual phenomenon "rain," but are assuring a panic stricken public that all should be back to normal the rest of the week with clear skies and temperatures ranging between 101 and 105 degrees!

So what's everyone else reading about this morning?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Getting a Little Freaky on Friday

Yay, it's the weekend, and Pride Weekend at that! From WTF Weekly Meme:

1) If your life was a TV game show, what current show or type of show would best reflect the life you've lived?

Press Your Luck. Big money, no whammies!!

2) We all know the story of "Freaky Friday" (two people change places and live in the other person's body for a day or two). If you could become any member of your family for just one day, who would you become?

My sister-in-law. I'd love to lounge about the pool all day!

3) The current issue of Redbook magazine talks about how to handle your children walking in on you having sex. ... Did you ever hear your parents or *shudder* walk in on them having sex? What happened once they found out that you overheard it or saw them? Did they talk to you about it or just pretend it didn't happen?

This never happened to me fortunately. I have enough psychological scars thank you very much.

4) On opposite end of the spectrum, one of my ex-boyfriends once got a gun pulled on him when he was caught having sex with a hunter's teenage daughter. Did anyone ever catch you during a sexual activity?

Yes my friend Matt walked in on me twice. He knew exactly what was going on at the other end of the closed door, asshat.

5) My father, an art teacher and professional artist, always said that the most beautiful people in the world usually have symmetrical faces. If beauty is mostly based on bilateral symmetry, why do you think most hairstyles are asymmetrical?

I have no response to this nor do I care.

6) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $10,000?

Yes, high in protein. It's already been established on this blog that I would almost do anything for ten thousand dollars.

7) List 5 things that simply bore you to tears.

1) Most people.
2) Most television shows especially American Idol.
3) NASCAR, a great way to put me to sleep almost instantly.
4) Baseball on TV.
5) Waiting around in airports.

8) Tell me about one of your totally useless possessions and how you came to own it, and don't try to tell me you don't have at least one useless item because we all have 'em.

My stove! It came with the house...

9) If farting was a career, my younger brother could seriously be a billionaire. What is a "skill" you naturally possess that you wish you could make a living doing?

Tormenting my friends, especially Dann.

10) If your significant other created a scavenger hunt for your birthday during which you had to drive around town and gather clues to locate your gift, would you find it romantic or annoying?

I think it would be awesome but there better be a good payoff at the end, gas isn't cheap.

11) The circus is in my town this weekend. If you joined the circus, what act would you most want to perform?

The circus is in town here too. I would either want to be one of the 32 clowns they squeeze into that little car or the guy that gets to beat the elephants with that hook ala "Water for Elephants."

12) What do you think would happen if it really did rain cats and dogs? I know I'd be in heaven if it happened, but what about you?

I'd probably go eat at Grand House, the eats would be nice and fresh.

13) Today (June 24) is “UFO Day.” The first documented UFO sighting was on this day. Do you believe in life on other planets?

As the Vulcans say: "infinite diversity in infinite combinations."

Happy Blogiversary!

This blog started out as a way to kill time at work six years ago today. I'm absolutely amazed that I'm still involved in this blog on an almost daily basis with 724 posts thus far. I visit Dave's World nearly daily to either upload a post, view comments, or view other blogs in my blog roll.

For some reason my visits have been increasing every month this year, even though I'm posting less lately. June looks to be my biggest month in terms of visits ever over the last six years with the 22nd being one of my biggest individual days for visits.

I guess I just wanted to say thanks to all the new and old readers out there for visiting my little piece of random life on the web.

Here's to another year blogging!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

More Tattoos

I'm always on the prowl for good tattoo designs. I've really wanted to get one for years but I never can decide on what I want branded on my flesh for life. I was really close to getting "Felicia" tattooed on my arm on my last trip to Vegas but I chickened out (and I was drunk). "Felicia" is still the current top candidate for a tattoo but now I'm having trouble finding a font I can live with!

Anyhow, speaking of tattoos I recently saw a couple of cool ones that I feel the need to share here:

My friend Jenny got this one in Austin recently. It's cool for two reasons, first, how often do you see "fuck" anything inked onto someone's body. Secondly she had the tattoo done to honor her step mother who recently died of cancer.

The next entry I saw last weekend while hanging out at Sue Ellens in Dallas. The girl we didn't know just randomly showed up at our table and asked if we wanted to see the tattoo she got for her birthday. Brilliant! I could never be so clever.

I'll probably never end up getting a tattoo. I've vacillated for so long that I think that's all I'm ever going to do.

What is Your Major Malfunction This Thursday?

The weekend is so close I can smell it! Once again from WTF Weekly Meme:

1) When I was in an elementary school gym class, I was wearing a skirt that somehow fell clear down to my ankles. (Luckily I was a tomboy and had shorts underneath so my panties weren't exposed.) Have you ever had a major wardrobe malfunction?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head. I used to take my shirt off every now and then back in the day dancing at clubs but I was much more buff then. (Palm in face!)

2) One of my favorite things to do when I'm bored is watch videos of Jack Vale pulling pranks on people at Walmart and Target (he uses a device to make farting noises near shoppers, covertly blows bubbles at people, and talks about strangers on the phone) while someone else captures the shoppers' reactions on video. (Click here to watch his videos). If you could work undercover and see how people behave in a situation and how they respond to you, what identity would you take?

I'm not sure I would have the acting abilities to pull something like this off. I am, however, a people watcher. It fascinates me to see the silly things people do and the way they act and interact with each other.

3) Everyone seems to disagree on how to put your toilet paper on the holder. I've found the solution... my toilet paper just sits on the counter, but I know most people aren't like me and actually want the convenience of toilet paper that rolls off a holder. So when you replace your toilet paper roll, do you make it where the paper rolls over the top or from the bottom?

The toilet paper must roll from the top down or else I'm changing it! Not in a restaurant or anything, just in my home. Luckily I live alone and don't have to fix the toilet paper roll often.

4) Would you rather have a two-hour appointment talking about your deepest thoughts and emotions with a mental health therapist or doing your taxes with an accountant?

Doing my taxes as it would only take about five minutes.

5) One of my coworkers has a severe annoyance toward people eating carrots. If looks could kill when someone is crunching on carrots, she'd brutally murder half the people in our department. Are there any noises that drive you up the wall?

I hate the sound of Styrofoam being crunched but I think this is pretty common.

6) If and when you play Monopoly, which figurine do you usually grab? I've never really played it, but I'm all about the cute doggy.

I like the top hat.

7) How would you cope if you were not allowed to know all the details about your significant other's job (like if they were in the CIA or in the military)?

That would save a lot of time and bullshit. Seriously it wouldn't bother me in the least.

8) What do you think the world would be like if cows produced Red Bull instead of milk?

A lot more high strung. I love milk but I can't think of anyone that I know, other than my mother, that drinks or likes milk.

9) Today (June 23) is National Pink Day. My grandfather always said, "Real men don't wear pink." Do you think a man can wear pink clothing and still appear masculine?

Absolutely. Pink is the new black, or at least it used to be. I have a couple of pink shirts that I wear every now and then but, you know, I'm gay.

10) If your neighbors kept their Christmas lights up all year and actually lit them up at least once a week, would you be annoyed or would you not even care?

I thought my neighbors were doing this this year but they finally removed the lights a couple of months after Christmas, and yes they would light them every night. I'd actually be more happy if many of my neighbors would put their trash cans up within a few days after trash day.

11) On Tuesday, I reported one of my neighbors to the city animal welfare department because of animal cruelty for leaving their two tiny puppies outside in 100-degree heat for hours every day without food and water. (Ironically, these aren't the same neighbors who are drug dealers. I just live in THAT kind of neighborhood.) Have you ever had to report your neighbors for some sort of crime or law violation?

I've never had to do this but I was close to making a complaint a few months ago when one of my neighbor was rolling through the hood early in the morning with their bass thumping really loudly. After a few days they finally stopped so maybe another neighbor beat me to the punch. I'm a pretty much mind my business kind of guy but if I witnessed some sort of animal cruelty I wouldn't hesitate to contact the city.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Cave

I finally finished "The Cave" by Jose Saramago (307 pages), a novel I've been reading off and on for the last couple of months. From the cover:

"Cipriano Algor, an elderly potter, lives with his daughter Marta and her husband Marcal in a small village on the outskirts of The Center, an imposing complex of shops and apartments to which Cipriano delivers his wares. One day, he is told not to make any more deliveries. Unwilling to give up his craft, Cipriano tries his hand at making ceramic dolls. Astonishingly, The Center places an order for hundreds. But just as suddenly, the order is cancelled and the penniless three have to move from the village into The Center. When mysterious sounds of digging emerge from beneath their new apartment, Cipriano and Marcal investigate; what they find transforms the family's life. Filled with the depth, humor, and extraordinary philosophical richness that marks each of Saramago's novels, The Cave is one of the essential books of our time."

"The Cave" borrows from Plato's "Allegory of the Cave," which presents a story where reality is but a shadow of our own experiences. Indeed the last couple chapters of the novel hits the reader over the head with this work, yet it is still done masterfully in only the way Saramago can do it.

The description from the book's jacket above probably gives away too much of the story of "The Cave," nonetheless it is a wonderful book with a very powerful conclusion. Though Saramago's style can take a little to get used to with paragraphs that can carry on for several pages and the lack of breaks or punctuation during dialogue, I would still highly recommend this novel or any of his other works. The depth of detail, the examination of truth and illusion, and quite possibly the greatest canine character, Found, ever put to print is well worth this difficult but engaging read.

I wish that Jose Saramago was still with us to continue to create superb works of fiction that also encourages the reader to think a little bit.

What would most people be compelled to do today? Watch the reflections from a fire on a wall or head off into the great unknown?

My Pilgrimage to Mecca

On my recent trip to Dallas last weekend I was able to take some time to visit Mecca, also know as Cowboys Stadium!

The tours of the stadium run every hour or so and the admission was $17.50. Though I enjoyed touring the facility, I found the guided tour to be a little too long, clocking in at about and hour and a half.

Highlights of the facility we were able to tour:

Press boxes and suites - areas I'm sure I'll never see during a game.

Locker rooms - I could have skipped the cheerleader locker room but the players locker room was awesome. Supposedly each "locker" was of some imported wood that costs ten thousand dollars a piece. We were cautioned not to sit or stand on the dressing areas.

Endzones - the endzones have giant doors on each side that open up several stories. The doors on each side have to be opened together otherwise the pressure of the enormous place would blow out the glass on the opposite side.

Stadium screen - the six story screen above the field in the first picture above is absolutely amazing. I've seen the thing in pictures and on TV during games but any image that I had previously viewed of the screen didn't do it justice. It is mind boggling. According to the tour guide the screen itself cost 40 million dollars, 5 million dollars more than the entire cost of the original Texas Stadium in Irvin.

Unfortunately we weren't able to go onto the field as there was some kind of Father's Day event going on. The tour was definitely worth the short drive from downtown Dallas to Arlington. How 'bout them Cowboys!

A Bazinga-Worthy Wednesday

Happy hump day everyone! From WTF Weekly Memes:

1) It seems like a ton of restaurants have started having savory salads that include fruit (strawberries, mandarin oranges, grapes, apples, etc.) along with lettuce or some other leafy veggie. Frankly, I don't think fruit and veggies should mix on my plate, but apparently not everyone agrees with me. What is your take on salads with fruit?

I usually don't order salads with fruit in them with the exception of a strawberry salad on occasion. I prefer to have a Greek salad or a Caesar salad.

2) I like to play this little game with myself (and sometimes friends) where I make up stories in my head about someone's secret sexual fetishes based on the way they look and my initial opinion of them. I once made the assumption that a certain female coworker was into dominatrix stuff and my theory just recently got confirmed, much to my disgust. If I were to meet you in person, what kind of fetish do you think I'd assume you'd be into?

This is an odd question. I'm a pretty clean cut guy so it would probably be difficult to peg me as a freak, unless of course you ran into me shirtless at a leather bar...

3) A former coworker recently told me that he always wished he had the ability to stop time so he could do it during a company wide meeting and arrange all the bosses into a crazy orgy and when he un-stopped time they'd be caught in compromising positions. What would you do if you could stop time?

I would do everything I don't have time to do now, reading, laundry, and other work around the house. Stopping time would also be a good opportunity to rob a bank.

4) On an episode of "The Big Bang Theory," the character of Sheldon breaks into an arcade and plays in the ball pit for a while, which looks like a ton of fun to me. (Click here if you want to watch the scene.) If you were locked in an arcade for a night and could act like a carefree child, what games would you play or what activities would you do?

It would only be fun if it was old school arcade with games from youth like Donkey Kong, Frogger, Wizard of War, Defender, well you get the picture.

5) If someone gave you an insider trading secret, would you risk getting caught and use the information to invest money in a business and rake in the cash?

Probably not but I would pass that information on to someone else who could invest the money for me and themselves.

6) I came home from work last Friday night to find a massive crime scene at the drug dealer's house across the street. As I was trying to drive into my driveway, I saw two police officers throw a very tall, large man onto the ground, put handcuffs on him, and drag him to a police car. It was like an episode of "COPS" in front of me. Have you ever witnessed someone getting arrested? (Or, have you ever been arrested yourself?)

I've had a couple of incidents like this in my hood and I can always count on seeing the ghettocopter roaming the hood on various nights throughout the year. I have also been arrested, once was very much like COPS, the second time I went peacefully!

7) Food-eating challenges intrigue me (and apparently fans of the TV shows "Man vs. Food" and "Outrageous Food"). A local hot dog place will give you free hot dogs if you can eat 25 or more in an hour. I so think I could do it. Have you ever taken part in some sort of food eating contest or challenge?

I have never taken part in a eating contest, I would fail miserably, I'm a slow and picky eater. Shows like the ones mentioned above leave a bad taste in my mouth (get it?). I never can get over thinking how much food is wasted when so many people in this country go to bed hungry or are lucky to have one meal a day.

8) Flash mobs seem to be happening everywhere all the time. What do you think is the appeal of being in a flash mob? This is a phenomenon I simply do not understand.

I don't get it either. People on Facespace have been advertising flash mob practice times for a Lady Gaga song sometime during Gay Pride next weekend. I suggested they just form a mob and take out Lady Gaga.

9) My younger brother disturbingly nicknamed my breasts "Pedro" and "Sanchez" one day; why they're named after Mexican men I don't know. Have you ever nicknamed a body part, of your own or someone else's?

I think everyone's done this at one time or another in their life. Moby comes to mind.

10) Since I started my current job, I've met a lot of women who are shoe-obsessed. Apparently there's a difference between wearing shoes and loving shoes. Why do you think some women feel the need to own up to 100 or more pairs of shoes? Why do you think they will pay hundreds of dollars on a single pair?

I have no clue what motivates people but we all have our own obsessions, no? I spend too much money on video games, even going so far as to buy a mediocre game that I hardly play rather than renting it first.

11) Would you pose completely naked for a magazine for $10,000?

I would do just about anything for $10,000.

12) If I walked into your home at this exact moment, what would I see? Is it neat and clean, is it mostly clean with just a few things out of place, or is it like my house which always looks like a tornado went through?

My house is mostly clean with some furniture out of place from a party/cookout I had the other night. I've been too lazy to move everything back in its proper place.

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Weekend Starts with a Slightly Scandalous Friday

Once again from W.T.F Weekly Meme:

1) You've won the unlimited use of a recreational vehicle for this weekend (including all the free gasoline you need). You must leave in an hour and have the RV back by 9 a.m. Monday morning. Where do you go and who do you take with you?

Well you can't get too far from Oklahoma City. Maybe a quick trip up to the Black Hills of South Dakota to see Deadwood and Mount Rushmore.

2) You find out that a close friend who seems to the perfect marriage had an affair almost 10 years ago that resulted in a baby. It's been kept a secret from the public all this time, but the friend's spouse has obviously forgiven him/her. Does this change your opinion of your friend or his/her spouse?

It's funny I just had this talk with my good friend Arnold. What people do in their personal life has no bearing on how I feel about them unless it has something to do with me personally.

3) What if the friend who had the affair and lovechild was also the minister at your church? Would that secret scandal change your answer to the last question?

Not at all, I don't suffer from that particular form of mental illness, religion, so I wouldn't be hanging out in a church or with a minister.

4) My boyfriend uses the predict text function on his phone, and it recently backfired. He meant to text me this "Watching baby ducks on the road," but instead it said "Watching baby fucks on the road." Do you use an auto-correct or predict text function on your phone? If so, do you have any funny stories about it? (By the way, if you haven't checked out the Damn You Auto Correct website, you really should. Just be prepared to laugh 'til you cry.)

I use auto-correct or predictive texting and I really need it as my spelling can be interesting at times. A friend of mine recently text me asking if I wanted to barback a private party and it came through as "bareback!" Awkward.

5) I've been asked on several past memes and Facebook surveys about times I snuck out of my house when I was a teenager. I want to switch that question around: Did you ever sneak someone into your home?

I never had to sneak people into my house, my parents really didn't care. I had girls over all the time.

6) Or, keeping with the sneaking around topic: Was there ever an item you had to sneak into your house and hide from your parents because it was not allowed in your house?

Not that I can think of at the moment. The only thing we would try to hide was maybe beer but my dad worked for a Coors distributor my whole life so we always had beer easily accessible.

7) Have you ever been the recipient of a RAOK (Random Act Of Kindness)? Or have you done one for someone else?

I've actually experienced this several times, mostly in the drive through in restaurants for breakfast. I've had the car in front of me pay for my breakfast burrito many times.

8) What are three things you've never done before that would surprise people?

1. I've never killed an animal with a gun or a bow.
2. I've never seen the movie Avatar.
3. I'm not nearly as awesome as I think I am.

9) I have a totally irrational (and somewhat offensive) fear of midgets. I have no clue why, but "small people" creep the hell out of me. Do you have any fears that are irrational, or maybe they are rational but funny regardless?

No fears that I can think of off hand. I have strong dislikes but it isn't the same, children and conservatives come to mind.

10) Recently there has been quite a bit of focus on being friends with benefits. There was the recent movie "No Strings Attached" and this summer's upcoming movie "Friends With Benefits" with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, and NBC is about to premiere a TV show also called "Friends With Benefits." Do you think two people can ever be just friends but have casual sex?

I think anything is possible. I've never had a friend with benefits but that's just me. I need some kind of emotional connection with whomever I'm whoring with, or at least a good dose of vodka.

11) I once composed an email to my now ex-husband griping about one of my co-workers saying she was a total bitch, but instead of sending it to him, I sent it to the co-worker by accident. Have you ever accidentally emailed someone insulting them when you meant to send it to someone else?

I'm sure I've done this before but I'm positive it wasn't a surprise. People generally know how I feel about them.

Headed to Big D!

In a few short hours I'll be in Dallas having a cocktail with JR and Sue Ellen!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Obama Beats Weiner!

Hmmmm. Saw this over at My New Life. Check it out, a really cool blog from Virginia.

Love Bites When It's Wednesday

I may try to follow another meme site in addition to Sunday Stealing. A new one brought to my attention is W.T.F Weekly Meme. From the site:

"Welcome to the W.T.F. meme which features random questions from my totally random mind. W.T.F. stands for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (what the f#@* did you think it stood for?), which are the days when the meme will post. Yes, that's right... three days of questions every week. This meme will feature questions you may have never been asked before at least not on a public level. The questions will come from random current events or be personality quiz-type questions or will be based on the crazy conversations I have with people in my own life.

Please visit the other participants' websites and comment on their answers. The meme's logos can be found below to the right. There's a general one in case you decide you want to do it on a day other than Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, which is totally cool with me. Then there are specific day logos."

1) My neighbor once asked me if I was pregnant after I had just gained some weight. She was so embarrassed about her mistake that she didn't speak to me for a year. Have you ever accidentally asked if a woman was pregnant when she wasn't?

I would never, ever presume to ask anyone this question because quite frankly it can be hard to tell sometime. In general I do have a big mouth but this is a question I can definitely keep to myself. I've found that if someone is pregnant they'll usually volunteer the information.

2) Several parents' organizations have spoken out about teenage "sexting." Do you think the members of the parents' organizations do it themselves? Do you think they text sexy messages or photos to their significant others? Are they just concerned parents or do you think they're hypocrites?

I'm sure a lot more people are "sexting" than is freely admitted, I'm looking at you Congressman Weiner. Isn't it always the parents role to teach their children to "do as I say not as I do." As an adult who has texted or emailed questionable information, I would still encourage my child, if I had one, to not engage in this kind of activity, you'll never know when or where those pictures will turn up.

3) Your phone rings, and it's your local newspaper calling to get an exclusive interview with you. What happened (or what did you do) to get them to want to interview you?

They probably want to know how it is that I can party so much without needing a liver transplant!

4) Do you follow recipes when you cook or are you an improviser in the kitchen? My boyfriend likes to throw random things into dishes, like the time he was cooking steak for us and put several packets of Taco Bell sauce into the marinade.

If it's something I know how to cook I just wing it. If I'm trying a new recipe I usually follow the directions faithfully.

5) Self-serve frozen yogurt places (Orange Leaf, Peach Wave, and Fresh Berry, just to name a few) have completely overtaken my area. They normally have about 10 types of frozen yogurt and up to 50 types of toppings. Pretend you're eating at one. What types of frozen yogurt and toppings do you get?

I have no clue. Those kinds of places aren't prevalent in Oklahoma City unfortunately, there's a reason we're the most unhealthy city in America! A better question would be what kind of gravy would you pick to smother over your chicken fried steak.

6) June is National Accordion Awareness Month. How crazy is it that they have an awareness month for accordions? What do you want people to be aware of?

That's just crazy! There seems to be an awareness month for everything these days. For me June is a celebration and awareness for LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and Intersex) people since this is our gay pride month for the area.

7) I live across the street from drug dealers who scare the living hell out of me. If you were to decide you suddenly want to try an illegal drug, do you know where you would go to purchase the drug?

If I ever decided I wanted to try an illegal drug (wink, wink) I would have no problems finding several people who sell said items.

8) You've won a $500 gift card to Walmart, Target, KMart, or any other megastore of your choosing. What is the first thing you purchase?

A new TV if it's possible to find a good one in a megastore.

9) NBC's new show "Love Bites" talked about "the list" in its premiere episode. "The list" is a list of celebrities you're allowed to sleep with if you ever get a chance, and it does not count as cheating toward your significant other. Who would be your top 5 celebrities on your list?

I've actually discussed this with my friend Kim and her cousin recently. While they had no problem coming up with a top 5 I would really need to think about it. I can say without hesitation that Chris Pine would be near the top of the list.

10) OK, let's switch that around. Say you and your significant other have created lists of celebrities you're allowed to sleep with if you get the chance. Your partner spots the #1 person on his/her list and sleeps with the person, which is totally OK by the rules of "the list." Do you think you could actually handle it?

Since I don't have a significant other, at least in the sense of the word, I would say go for it! I'd never be worried making such an "arrangement" since the odds of winning the lottery or getting struck by lightening are better.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Seriously Random Questions Meme, Pt. 1

It's been a while since I participated in Sunday Stealing.

1. Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?
Pour gasoline on it? Not really. I guess I'd try to make sure he wasn't in the car!

2. Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?
Punch her in the stomach! Not really. I'd be happy for her since it would most likely be planned if this really happened.

3. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
All the time, I really dislike most people.

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?
A pack of smokes.

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?
I've actually lost weight somehow over the last month.

6. Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?
Definitely Puffy Cheetos.

7. The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?
Nothing, this is a common occurrence.

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?

9. Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name?

10. What are you craving right now?
Dim Sum.

11. What was the last thing you cried about?
Having to come back to Oklahoma City from Chicago last week.

12. When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
I'll either keep it or toss it in the penny box if one is present at the counter.

13. What color is your tissue box?
I don't have a tissue box as I'm not a 60 year old woman.

14. Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
I do and there probably is dust on it.

15. What was the last voicemail you received about?
I have no clue, it's been a while since I've had a voicemail. Most of my communications are from texts.

16. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
Not blocked but I have hidden their posts so I wouldn't have to see all their bullshit posts and status updates.

17. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?
Unsure. Maybe riding in a boat on Lake Pontchartrain at speeds in excess of 80 miles an hour.

18. Do you wear a name tag at work?

19. What kind of car do you want?
An Infinity or a Subaru.

20. What do you order when you go to Burger King?
I never eat at Burger King. I think the last time must have been some kind of chicken sandwich.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Leather, Alcohol, and Bears, Oh My!

What does one do at 2AM on a Saturday morning in Chicago when you're not quite ready to quit partying? Hit the leather bars of course! They remain open until 4AM.

We don't have any gay leather bars in Oklahoma City and they aren't the usual kinds of clubs I visit while traveling. Early Saturday morning we were feeling a little adventurous, most likely due to martinis at Marty's, and we had a tour guide in Jason that was willing to give us a quick run to a couple of leather bars in Chicago.

First stop Touché. It was so awesome that we came here as we know someone who was the runner up to a leather contest here many years ago.

What's really funny, to me, at all three leather bars we attacked was that they were all cavernous, dark places populated by big burly hairy men clad in leather while in the background was the biggest faggoty ass gay music I ever heard (and I really don't mean that in a derogatory way)!

Next up on the tour was JackHammer. No real distinction from Touché, maybe a little newer and cleaner but it was still populated by leather Daddies jamming out to some screaming queen music. What made JackHammer unique was the addition of a bar in the basement called The Hole.

"'The Hole' is a separate party space located below ground @ JackHammer with a strict leather/fetish dress code in effect on Friday and Saturday nights. Open late until 4AM (5AM on Sat.) and has an overall great mix of guys in jeans, military uniforms, leather & fetish gear."

Naturally we, the three Stooges, had to go down there. None of us was wearing leather. No problem, the price of admission ended up just being our shirts. So there we are, Jason, Dann, and myself mingling with an extreme group of gays without our shirts. If only my iPhone had a flash, I would have had blackmail material for life!

Basically the Hole was a small little bar with a side room and an open bathroom in the bar. This means when you're taking a piss you can view the rest of the entire bar. This would definitely be difficult for anyone who's pee shy. Fortunately I was a little drunk.

At one point in the evening a patron of the bar approached Jason and asked, "barebacking tonight?" Like it's just any other pick up line at any other bar! We joked about that encounter the entire rest of the trip and even had to explain to the girls the next night what the pick up line meant. Straight women, go figure.

On top of all this, I have to give a description of the small room in the basement I mentioned earlier. Originally Jason thought it was a bathroom when he proceeded to enter the little room around the corner. After he figured out what was going on he took great delight in taking Dann and I in there individually for our own assessment. Dragged by the arm by Jason it took me a moment to focus through the hazy mist of man sweat. There were dozens of men in several poses of dress and undress doing things that I'm sure are even illegal in Chicago! I could only think that I was living an episode of "Queer as Folk!"

Let's review. It's fun to do different things in the safety of friends. While these kinds of bars aren't really my thing, I had a great time and a couple of great stories to reminisce over for a long while. If you're in Chicago check out the leather bars but bring friends and maybe a pair of leather chaps!

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Zelda Skyward Sword Wii E3 2011 Trailer

Speaking of video games, Nintendo released an updated trailer to The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword:

Graphically the game looks decent but I still think it's a little too cartoony, certainly more so than their last effort, The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess.

I'm really looking forward to experiencing the 1:1 ratio of sword play with the Wii controller. As you can see from the trailer certain enemies can only be defeated with specific thrusts from the controller. If done right it could be a unique gaming experience.

The game is scheduled to be released this holiday season.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Mutts Amazing Hot Dogs

Timmy treated me to Mutts Amazing Hot Dogs yesterday after we failed miserably to get an Ikea shelf hung on his study wall. Mutts is located near the intersection of NW 23rd St and N Douglas Ave. Unfortunately they don't have a website available online yet but from what I understand they are owned by the same people who brought us Big Truck Tacos.

What we sampled yesterday:

Tatonka: bison dog, green chili sauce, cilantro lime aioli, goat cheese.

Kung Fuey: chicken dog, Asian slaw, wasabi mayo, black and white sesame seeds.

Maui Waui: spam, grilled pineapple relish, spiced teriyaki aioli, poppy seed bun.

We also had an order of french fries that were fried in duck fat with truffle oil.

The new concept, at least one I haven't seen in Oklahoma City, was trendy and clean with delicious hot dogs. There's a variety of speciality dogs like the ones pictured above as well as the ability to create your own dog from many different kinds of meats and vegetables. The only downside I could find was that the wait for the food was a bit slow but I'm never really one that gets in a hurry when eating out.

The cost for a speciality dog ranges anywhere from four dollars to nine dollars if I remember correctly.

Check out Mutts Amazing Hot Dogs if you live in or are visiting the Oklahoma City area.

Edit: found their webpage after I made this posting. A full menu can be found there.

Animal Crossing 3DS: E3 2011 Trailer

Nintendo has released a new E3 trailer for latest edition of the Animal Crossing series on the 3DS. Basically Animal Crossing is a life simulation game, think the SIMS only Nintendo style. The series has been featured on the Nintendo GameCube, Wii, and DS.

Anyone else out there in the world looking forward to this game?

Monday, June 06, 2011

Art Institute of Chicago

I was lucky enough to have a little time Sunday morning to check out the Art Institute of Chicago. A friend of mine who lives in Chicago and works at the AIC hooked us up with some tickets to the museum, very generous.

An author once said that viewing art should be done in limited quantity. To try to make it through an entire museum and all the galleries is not only taxing but eventually the senses become dull and it's hard to appreciate the art that you're viewing. I think I subscribe to this philosophy. I enjoy trips to the museum but I don't have much of an eye for art, unfortunately. An hour or so hitting a couple of galleries is time well spent and easy on the eyes.

Two areas of the museum I wanted to see most were the Impressionism gallery and the Modern American Art gallery pre 1950.

A lot of the impressionists were represented in the first gallery. Monet (water lilies and hay stacks abound), Manet, Cézanne, Pissarro, and Renoir. I don't recall seeing anything by Degas. Of course what I wanted to see most was Un dimanche après-midi à l'Île de la Grande Jatte - 1884 by Georges Seurat. It didn't disappoint. Not only is the work as beautiful as I imagine and a great example of pointillism, it's also a very large painting.

The image above I took with my iPhone at the gallery. Apparently the AIC doesn't have an rules about photography. Indeed everyone was snapping pictures left and right and some with flashes. I found this very odd and surprising.

The next gallery I wanted to see was the modern American art pre 1950. This is where the story takes a turn into what I can only describe as an episode of Seinfeld. We tried to use the map to find the gallery, it was supposed to be somewhere on the second floor. After wandering through some horrific modern art wings (modern art isn't my cup of tea) it was time to break down and ask directions.

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to find the gallery that houses American Gothic?"

"Go back to the other end of the this gallery, go down the stairs, head toward the Asian gift store, make a left, go up the set of stairs and you should find it."

After going up the same sets of stairs and through an Asian gallery several times we were unsuccessful in finding our destination. We ask for directions again.

"Go back to the other end of the this gallery, go down the stairs, head toward the Asian gift store, make a left, go up the set of stairs and you should find it."

This scenario happens THREE MORE TIMES! By the last time I ask for directions my eye is twitching and I'm about to have a meltdown. Finally we find the Asian gift store which was masked due to it's close proximity to the Asian gallery. Finally, after all this time, and about a million stairs, we find what we're looking for...

I'm still not sure the picture of Grant Wood's wife and his dentist friend was worth it!

If you're ever in Chicago, the Art Institute of Chicago is worth the $18.00 admission fee and even better when a friend can smuggle you in for free. As a casual art observer the museum was more than I expected and I look forward to exploring more of it in future trips. Beware trying to find the modern American art wing!

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Chicago Rematch!

Headed back to Chicago tomorrow. I'm so excited I can't see straight! It's been nearly eight months since I've been home...