What is Your Major Malfunction This Thursday?

The weekend is so close I can smell it! Once again from WTF Weekly Meme:



1) When I was in an elementary school gym class, I was wearing a skirt that somehow fell clear down to my ankles. (Luckily I was a tomboy and had shorts underneath so my panties weren't exposed.) Have you ever had a major wardrobe malfunction?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head. I used to take my shirt off every now and then back in the day dancing at clubs but I was much more buff then. (Palm in face!)

2) One of my favorite things to do when I'm bored is watch videos of Jack Vale pulling pranks on people at Walmart and Target (he uses a device to make farting noises near shoppers, covertly blows bubbles at people, and talks about strangers on the phone) while someone else captures the shoppers' reactions on video. (Click here to watch his videos). If you could work undercover and see how people behave in a situation and how they respond to you, what identity would you take?

I'm not sure I would have the acting abilities to pull something like this off. I am, however, a people watcher. It fascinates me to see the silly things people do and the way they act and interact with each other.

3) Everyone seems to disagree on how to put your toilet paper on the holder. I've found the solution... my toilet paper just sits on the counter, but I know most people aren't like me and actually want the convenience of toilet paper that rolls off a holder. So when you replace your toilet paper roll, do you make it where the paper rolls over the top or from the bottom?

The toilet paper must roll from the top down or else I'm changing it! Not in a restaurant or anything, just in my home. Luckily I live alone and don't have to fix the toilet paper roll often.

4) Would you rather have a two-hour appointment talking about your deepest thoughts and emotions with a mental health therapist or doing your taxes with an accountant?

Doing my taxes as it would only take about five minutes.

5) One of my coworkers has a severe annoyance toward people eating carrots. If looks could kill when someone is crunching on carrots, she'd brutally murder half the people in our department. Are there any noises that drive you up the wall?

I hate the sound of Styrofoam being crunched but I think this is pretty common.

6) If and when you play Monopoly, which figurine do you usually grab? I've never really played it, but I'm all about the cute doggy.

I like the top hat.

7) How would you cope if you were not allowed to know all the details about your significant other's job (like if they were in the CIA or in the military)?

That would save a lot of time and bullshit. Seriously it wouldn't bother me in the least.

8) What do you think the world would be like if cows produced Red Bull instead of milk?

A lot more high strung. I love milk but I can't think of anyone that I know, other than my mother, that drinks or likes milk.

9) Today (June 23) is National Pink Day. My grandfather always said, "Real men don't wear pink." Do you think a man can wear pink clothing and still appear masculine?

Absolutely. Pink is the new black, or at least it used to be. I have a couple of pink shirts that I wear every now and then but, you know, I'm gay.

10) If your neighbors kept their Christmas lights up all year and actually lit them up at least once a week, would you be annoyed or would you not even care?

I thought my neighbors were doing this this year but they finally removed the lights a couple of months after Christmas, and yes they would light them every night. I'd actually be more happy if many of my neighbors would put their trash cans up within a few days after trash day.

11) On Tuesday, I reported one of my neighbors to the city animal welfare department because of animal cruelty for leaving their two tiny puppies outside in 100-degree heat for hours every day without food and water. (Ironically, these aren't the same neighbors who are drug dealers. I just live in THAT kind of neighborhood.) Have you ever had to report your neighbors for some sort of crime or law violation?

I've never had to do this but I was close to making a complaint a few months ago when one of my neighbor was rolling through the hood early in the morning with their bass thumping really loudly. After a few days they finally stopped so maybe another neighbor beat me to the punch. I'm a pretty much mind my business kind of guy but if I witnessed some sort of animal cruelty I wouldn't hesitate to contact the city.