Friday, June 10, 2011

Leather, Alcohol, and Bears, Oh My!

What does one do at 2AM on a Saturday morning in Chicago when you're not quite ready to quit partying? Hit the leather bars of course! They remain open until 4AM.

We don't have any gay leather bars in Oklahoma City and they aren't the usual kinds of clubs I visit while traveling. Early Saturday morning we were feeling a little adventurous, most likely due to martinis at Marty's, and we had a tour guide in Jason that was willing to give us a quick run to a couple of leather bars in Chicago.

First stop Touché. It was so awesome that we came here as we know someone who was the runner up to a leather contest here many years ago.

What's really funny, to me, at all three leather bars we attacked was that they were all cavernous, dark places populated by big burly hairy men clad in leather while in the background was the biggest faggoty ass gay music I ever heard (and I really don't mean that in a derogatory way)!

Next up on the tour was JackHammer. No real distinction from Touché, maybe a little newer and cleaner but it was still populated by leather Daddies jamming out to some screaming queen music. What made JackHammer unique was the addition of a bar in the basement called The Hole.

"'The Hole' is a separate party space located below ground @ JackHammer with a strict leather/fetish dress code in effect on Friday and Saturday nights. Open late until 4AM (5AM on Sat.) and has an overall great mix of guys in jeans, military uniforms, leather & fetish gear."

Naturally we, the three Stooges, had to go down there. None of us was wearing leather. No problem, the price of admission ended up just being our shirts. So there we are, Jason, Dann, and myself mingling with an extreme group of gays without our shirts. If only my iPhone had a flash, I would have had blackmail material for life!

Basically the Hole was a small little bar with a side room and an open bathroom in the bar. This means when you're taking a piss you can view the rest of the entire bar. This would definitely be difficult for anyone who's pee shy. Fortunately I was a little drunk.

At one point in the evening a patron of the bar approached Jason and asked, "barebacking tonight?" Like it's just any other pick up line at any other bar! We joked about that encounter the entire rest of the trip and even had to explain to the girls the next night what the pick up line meant. Straight women, go figure.

On top of all this, I have to give a description of the small room in the basement I mentioned earlier. Originally Jason thought it was a bathroom when he proceeded to enter the little room around the corner. After he figured out what was going on he took great delight in taking Dann and I in there individually for our own assessment. Dragged by the arm by Jason it took me a moment to focus through the hazy mist of man sweat. There were dozens of men in several poses of dress and undress doing things that I'm sure are even illegal in Chicago! I could only think that I was living an episode of "Queer as Folk!"

Let's review. It's fun to do different things in the safety of friends. While these kinds of bars aren't really my thing, I had a great time and a couple of great stories to reminisce over for a long while. If you're in Chicago check out the leather bars but bring friends and maybe a pair of leather chaps!

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