Saturday, January 30, 2016

Laundry Day Meme

It's been a long while since I've done one of these.  As always from Sunday Stealing.  

Do you know any couples that have been married for a very long time?
My parents, married nearly 44 years.

What are you tired of people telling you?
To "feel the Bern."

Which type of ice cream do you prefer?
Plain old chocolate.  Sometimes Moo-llennium Crunch by Blue Bell if I'm feeling adventurous and feel I can avoid listeria... 

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name?
I do not have a little sister; however, I have a niece that I think of more like a sister.  Her name is Casey.

What was the last movie you watched on TV?
Game Change on Amazon Prime.

If the internet was not available right now, what would you do instead?
Watch college basketball which I'm also doing now or play some Nintendo.

Do you complain a lot?
Yeah probably more than I should but it's usually in jest.

Name a movie that your favorite actor is in.
I really don't have one specific favorite actor but I do like that actor in Ant Man.

Do you like your toes?
They are unique.  Two of them are webbed on each foot.  And no I don't swim better.  So yeah I guess I like them.
Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple?
Since an authentic haunted house doesn't exist I'll go with an ancient temple. 

Have you ever had champagne? Did you like it?
I have consumed champagne on many occasions and liked it, especially when served with orange juice.

Are there any seashells in your room?
There are not but I do have a jar of them somewhere stored away in my house.

What was the reason for the last time you went outside?
To take the dog out.

Do you like fruity or minty gum?

Are you looking forward to any day of this month?
Since there's only one day left in this month I'm going to go with no.

What was the last graduation you attended?
An ex-boyfriend's college graduation a few years ago.  We went out to celebrate after and I was drinking a lot of vodka and cranberry drinks.  I overdid it and puked all over the sports coat I was wearing.  It was a white jacket.

Do you rummage through the $5 movie bin at Walmart every time?
I very seldom shop at the Evil Empire but I do check movie bargain bins when shopping at varies places.

What day of the week do you usually do laundry?
It varies but almost always during the week, not on the weekends.

Do you like using air fresheners?
I hate them.

Are your nails ever painted red?
No, not red.

When you were a baby, did you have a favorite blanket?
I did!  It was a Raggedy Ann and Andy blanket.  I'm told I wore it down to threads.

Ever been on a cruise?
No.  And honestly it sounds like a dreadful thing to do.

Would you rather go to Alaska or Russia?
Right now Alaska given the attitudes toward queers in Russia right now.

Strawberries or bananas?

Are you wearing socks?
I am, ankle socks.

When’s the last time you went to the mall?
Friday.  I go to the mall often in the mornings to walk with the geezers (my parents) and the rest of the walking dead.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Drug Test Fail

Yesterday I had to go take a drug test for the city.  My other experiences with urine testing for other jobs, etc. was pretty mundane in comparison.  I was always just handed a bottle and shown to a one toilet bathroom to do my business.  Fill the cup, hand it to a tech and be on my way. 

Yesterday I was greeted by a very fancy man, tech, handling the samples.  He was clad in dress clothes, smart shoes, a bow tie, and a long coat, I'm thinking it was vicuña.  He had an air about him as if his shit didn't stink.  I thought, hey buddy, you're the one handling urine all day.  But whatever, this isn't what was odd about my visit...

We were instructed to follow the guy in the mink coat into the men's bathroom two at a time.  Not only was I going to be watched while pissing into a cup I had the pleasure of it being a ménages à trois.  Normally I'm pretty pee shy.  I'm the kind of guy who will head to a stall in a crowded public bathroom or wait until one is open.  Luckily I had prepared myself with a couple of glasses of water in the morning and a cup of hot chocolate on the way to the testing facility.  After inquiring how much was to be filled, I did my business but not without a bit of a struggle.  I proceeded to wash my hands and wait for the other tester.

From the middle stall I heard the second tester tell the tech he was unable to pee.  Before he could get a response he then added that he did have to take a shit and could probably urinate that way.  Shit.  His words not mine.  Embarrassed the tester told him to do what he has to do.  At this point I'm ready to bail on being in this bathroom.  Of course I wasn't allowed to leave individually.  I had to wait for the whole group.  Lovely.

I enjoyed this man taking a shit from three feet away.  Even worse than the whole ordeal and the smell:  after handing the tech his cup, the poop attack guy proceeds to grab the door handle and pull it as if to leave.  Mr. Fancy Tech asked him incredulously if he was going to wash his hands.  He bashfully did.

That was my morning yesterday.  How was yours?