Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Bazinga-Worthy Wednesday

Happy hump day everyone! From WTF Weekly Memes:

1) It seems like a ton of restaurants have started having savory salads that include fruit (strawberries, mandarin oranges, grapes, apples, etc.) along with lettuce or some other leafy veggie. Frankly, I don't think fruit and veggies should mix on my plate, but apparently not everyone agrees with me. What is your take on salads with fruit?

I usually don't order salads with fruit in them with the exception of a strawberry salad on occasion. I prefer to have a Greek salad or a Caesar salad.

2) I like to play this little game with myself (and sometimes friends) where I make up stories in my head about someone's secret sexual fetishes based on the way they look and my initial opinion of them. I once made the assumption that a certain female coworker was into dominatrix stuff and my theory just recently got confirmed, much to my disgust. If I were to meet you in person, what kind of fetish do you think I'd assume you'd be into?

This is an odd question. I'm a pretty clean cut guy so it would probably be difficult to peg me as a freak, unless of course you ran into me shirtless at a leather bar...

3) A former coworker recently told me that he always wished he had the ability to stop time so he could do it during a company wide meeting and arrange all the bosses into a crazy orgy and when he un-stopped time they'd be caught in compromising positions. What would you do if you could stop time?

I would do everything I don't have time to do now, reading, laundry, and other work around the house. Stopping time would also be a good opportunity to rob a bank.

4) On an episode of "The Big Bang Theory," the character of Sheldon breaks into an arcade and plays in the ball pit for a while, which looks like a ton of fun to me. (Click here if you want to watch the scene.) If you were locked in an arcade for a night and could act like a carefree child, what games would you play or what activities would you do?

It would only be fun if it was old school arcade with games from youth like Donkey Kong, Frogger, Wizard of War, Defender, well you get the picture.

5) If someone gave you an insider trading secret, would you risk getting caught and use the information to invest money in a business and rake in the cash?

Probably not but I would pass that information on to someone else who could invest the money for me and themselves.

6) I came home from work last Friday night to find a massive crime scene at the drug dealer's house across the street. As I was trying to drive into my driveway, I saw two police officers throw a very tall, large man onto the ground, put handcuffs on him, and drag him to a police car. It was like an episode of "COPS" in front of me. Have you ever witnessed someone getting arrested? (Or, have you ever been arrested yourself?)

I've had a couple of incidents like this in my hood and I can always count on seeing the ghettocopter roaming the hood on various nights throughout the year. I have also been arrested, once was very much like COPS, the second time I went peacefully!

7) Food-eating challenges intrigue me (and apparently fans of the TV shows "Man vs. Food" and "Outrageous Food"). A local hot dog place will give you free hot dogs if you can eat 25 or more in an hour. I so think I could do it. Have you ever taken part in some sort of food eating contest or challenge?

I have never taken part in a eating contest, I would fail miserably, I'm a slow and picky eater. Shows like the ones mentioned above leave a bad taste in my mouth (get it?). I never can get over thinking how much food is wasted when so many people in this country go to bed hungry or are lucky to have one meal a day.

8) Flash mobs seem to be happening everywhere all the time. What do you think is the appeal of being in a flash mob? This is a phenomenon I simply do not understand.

I don't get it either. People on Facespace have been advertising flash mob practice times for a Lady Gaga song sometime during Gay Pride next weekend. I suggested they just form a mob and take out Lady Gaga.

9) My younger brother disturbingly nicknamed my breasts "Pedro" and "Sanchez" one day; why they're named after Mexican men I don't know. Have you ever nicknamed a body part, of your own or someone else's?

I think everyone's done this at one time or another in their life. Moby comes to mind.

10) Since I started my current job, I've met a lot of women who are shoe-obsessed. Apparently there's a difference between wearing shoes and loving shoes. Why do you think some women feel the need to own up to 100 or more pairs of shoes? Why do you think they will pay hundreds of dollars on a single pair?

I have no clue what motivates people but we all have our own obsessions, no? I spend too much money on video games, even going so far as to buy a mediocre game that I hardly play rather than renting it first.

11) Would you pose completely naked for a magazine for $10,000?

I would do just about anything for $10,000.

12) If I walked into your home at this exact moment, what would I see? Is it neat and clean, is it mostly clean with just a few things out of place, or is it like my house which always looks like a tornado went through?

My house is mostly clean with some furniture out of place from a party/cookout I had the other night. I've been too lazy to move everything back in its proper place.

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