Crismas Minutes

As I've mentioned before my friend Cris celebrates her birthday on the 25th. Since she's going to be in L.A. toward the end of the month we got together to celebrate her birthday early on Saturday. Someone had the bright idea to take the minutes during our time at Edna's right around the start of the Big 12 Championship game. Here's what I could translate from the crumpled pieces of paper I found in my coat pocket:

Time Unknown - Justin - "I can't believe I carried this dick bag through the entire mall."
6:35 - Jewish jokes abound.
6:45 - Is Justin Freddy Kruger?
6:45 - Justin - "I just farted."
6:46 - Weezer!
6:55 - David - "I'm never asking Cris to anything again after Kathy Griffin."
6:58 - Midnight Train to Georgia!
7:00 - I like your beard.
7:01 - Susan wants penis on the screen.
7:02 - Cris - "DB sprained his dick in cow town."
7:04 - Justin's song to us: The Sound of Silence.
7:07 - "I (heart) you DB! Swoo."
7:20 - Tomatoes!
7:25 - (Whatever is written here, in my hand writing, is unreadable)
7:26 - Justin is clutching his pearls.
7:26 - Matt and Justin are arguing about pig horses.
7:40 - David - "Mel sounds like Tone Loc."
7:47 - Fudd needs to sit down!
8:02 - Susan is a ho! Heehaw!
8:05 - Jackie cannot roll her tongue.
8:25 - Susan - "Cutler wears a moo moo."
8:25 - Second spill at Edna's, NOT Mel.
8:40 - (Whatever is written here, not in my hand writing, is unreadable)
8:48 - David - "I will piss on Stoops' grave!"
8:55 - David - "Su and me love rejection."
8:59 - DB forgot about the Christmas party at Macklyn's house.

Interesting. Apparently no one was in any condition to take the minutes after we left Edna's. Either that or Justin and Jackie were too busy dancing the night away to care!