How sweet this would be...

Click here for the story.

With Obama weakening and Clinton going off the deep end could Gore be the party's savior? Highly doubtful but one can dream...

Have I mentioned how much I love Al Gore?

Air New Zealand Pink Flight

"Quotes"

"If Tyrrany and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."

"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home."

-James Madison, 4th President (1809-1817)


"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

-Ben Franklin, founding father 1755


"It's not tyranny we desire; it's a just, limited, federal government."

-Alexander Hamilton, father of capitalism and my favorite gay founding father

Smash Brothers!

A week from tomorrow Super Smash Brothers Brawl will be hitting the shelves for the Nintendo Wii. Here's a funny commercial for the original Smash Brothers game for the Nintendo 64.

Estoy Aqui

Nintendo Wii in 2008 Part 3: Mario Kart Wii

Mario Kart Wii is listed as a Q2 release but considering the limited amount of information on the game I wouldn't expect to see a release this spring. Most likely Nintendo will unveil more information on the game at this years E3 conference and move the game to a fall release just in time to cash in on the holidays.

Mario Kart games are simple. Race to the finish line on a variety of tracks against multiple Nintendo mascot opponents using an arsenal of weapons such as banana peels, heat seeking shells, and blocks. Choose from a multitude of racers with varying skill sets including weight, acceleration, and top speed. Player modes have included circuit racing, time trials, battle modes, and split screen multiplayer racing. The game has appeared on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES), the Nintendo 64, the Nintendo GameBoy Advance, the Nintendo GameCube, and most recently the Nintendo DS sporting a great online multiplayer feature.

Rumor has it that the latest entry in the Kart series will go back to its roots featuring one racer per kart (Mario Kart: Double Dash for the Nintendo GameCube offered two racers per kart giving the gamer the ability to switch between racers depending on the situation). Also rumored is the return of the power slide ability for advanced racers (a must for time trials) and an online multiplayer option that will allow you to race with up to 12 people from all over the world all at one time. Finally the game is to be packed with a steering wheel accessory that will cradle the Nintendo Wiimote for a more immersive game play experience (I think I'll stick with a more traditional approach with the game using a standard controller). See the video below for an explanation of the steering wheel accessory.

Reggie Fils-Aime's Comments on Mario Kart Wii



Mario Kart 64 is one of my favorite games of any generation and I'll be in line to try out Nintendo's latest Kart offering later this year.

Nintendo Wii in 2008 Part 2: Wii Fit

One of the next big releases projected in 2008 is Wii Fit. The game is still listed as TBA 2008 but I would expect a release earlier in the year rather than later. The release in Japan in Decemeber has already yeilded over a million units sold. So what is Wii Fit? Again I refer to our friends at IGN:

"The hit combination of Wii Sports and the Wii Remote brought golf swings and tennis serves into people’s homes. Now Nintendo turns the living room into a fitness center for the whole family with Wii Fit and the Wii Balance Board. Family members will have fun getting a "core" workout, and talking about and comparing their results and progress on a new channel on the Wii Menu.

Lean to block soccer balls, swivel hips to power hoop twirls or balance to hold the perfect yoga pose. As users stand on the Wii Balance Board, included with Wii Fit, their body’s overall balance is tied to the game in a way they’ve never experienced before. Wii Fit also uses the Wii Balance Board for daily tests. These evaluate two key measures that a household can track via progress charts."

Sounds a bit bizarre huh? Those crazy Japanese!

Wii Fit Trailer


Will this kind of "gaming" go over here as well as it has in the land of the rising sun? I would be willing to bet that indeed it will given Nintendo's track record of reaching out to and capturing casuel gamers over the last year. Will this be a game and peripheral that I would purchase? Unsure; however, the prospect of leaning left and right on the Wii Balance Board heading down the ski slopes sounds promising.

Nintendo Wii in 2008 Part 1: SSB Brawl

Similar to what I did before the release of the Nintendo Wii last year I want to take a look ahead to the games of 2008. 2008 promises to be another banner "sold out" year for the Wii. It's hard to imagine that a new year can top the offerings of last with the likes of a Zelda game, a Metroid game, and a Mario game, not to mention countless other titles! We'll be discussing the projected major releases through the year in each post. First up, Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Of course we have to start with what will be a monster release slated for March 9th. The third installment in the Smash Brothers series looks to be the biggest and best yet. If you're not familiar with the series it's basically a fighting game with a "king of the hill" mentality. Stay alive and deal as much punishment to your opponents to survive the round. Here's what IGN has to say about the title: "Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a brawling, battling, action-packed video game that features a varied roster of characters for four-player simultaneous melees! This Wii entry in the popular series features a number of new additions, including an Adventure Mode (with co-op play), a wealth of new characters and stages, and online combat for multiple players to face off against each other from anywhere!" So be prepared to round up some friends at home or online and duke it out using a completely customizable control scheme for your Wiimote, GameCube remote, or Wii classic controller.

You can brawl your way to victory with a wide assortment of Nintendo mascots including old favorites like Mario, Link, and Fox McCloud, as well as newly added brawlers like Pit from Kid Icarus who hasn't graced a Nintendo game in 15 years. What may be more exciting about the line up is the addition of characters not held by Nintendo, namely Solid Snake from the Metal Gear franchise and Sonic from the Sonic the Headgehog franchise.

The title has already released to long lines in Japan with an amazing sale through rate. The same should hold true here in the states where previous installments sold tremendously totaling over 10 million copies on the Nintendo 64 and the Nintendo GameCube.

Super Smash Brothers Brawl Japanese Opening Cinematic



Super Smash Brothers Brawl Japanese Game Play



More information can be found here on the Wii Brawl page or here at the Smash Bros. Dojo.

Al Gore's The Man

Click here to see why.

The GOP Needs a New Message

I used to be a political junkie. I remember when Clinton (Bill) was running for President in '91. I'd tune in to all the political shows every night before bed, especially CNN and C-SPAN. I couldn't get enough of the news from the campaign trail, debates, speeches, you name it. Maybe it was the excitement of my first Presidential vote or my naivety in thinking one person could change the country but I couldn't get enough of politics! I continued to follow politics throughout the years even during some (for me) very depressing times: the Contract with America, the Gore defeat of 2000, the re-election of GW Bush. This year I find myself not giving two shakes of a dead rats ass about the process. I'm probably not informed as I used to be simply because I don't have cable. The news I get now is what I can catch at my parents house, online, or from the Daily Fish Wrap (The Daily Oklahoman). I guess what drove home my increased apathy for our political process was the recent GOP debate in Florida. It's been years since I watched a Presidential debate either Republican or Democrat (and I couldn't stomach to watch all of it). What I watched could've been viewed during the '88 election, the '92 election or any other year! We need change. Change? Really? The party who controlled the White House and Congress for most of the last 16 years wants change? Um OK, whatever... a new direction or leadership from conservatives, I guess I can swallow that even if their 71 year old front runner isn't very fresh. What really irked me was the same old rhetoric I'd heard from years before! We need tax cuts. Tax cuts for the middle class, tax cuts for small business, tax cuts across the board! Wow. And the other side? Tax and spend liberals. Tax and spend liberals. Tax and spend liberals. I can't believe they're still beating this dead horse of an argument. Of course other issues were discussed but it always made its way back to tax cuts and staying the course with the war. I can't believe anyone would have the balls to utter the words "sustain the war" and "tax cuts" in the same breath. They're getting away with it! This is the only time in American history where we've lowered taxes while we're waging war! I'm all for lowering taxes (really, who isn't) but isn't a war a time for a country to sacrifice? To pull together and get the job done no matter the costs? Perhaps if the new Democratic Congress had kept their promise to start bringing troops home we could afford to spread a little money around. Ah well that's a blog for another day. I'll hold my nose and vote on Super Tuesday but I think I'll ignore the coverage until then. What do you think?

Shiny Toy Guns

I saw this performance in December with Crystal and Lindsey as well as others... man I really miss hanging with those girls!

Oh L'amour

BLEH!

So fucking bored! My schedule of late has me closing a lot of shifts. When I get off work there's absolutely NOTHING to do. I got off work after the Saturday night shift at 2:30 in the morning. Anyone out there have any suggestions on late night entertainment? My routine as of late is to flop down at the computer, listen to some tunes, and drink a couple of beers... livin' the dream!



Maybe I should go back to serving/bartending; less hours and more money. The picture is from Mother's day last year (2006). I had a five alarm hang over while working the "busiest" day of the year! Eww it appears as though dad is drinking Beringer's White Zin... America's number one wine. What does this tell us about ourselves (as Americans)?

Be Yourself, Don't Hide

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence

RIP Jake

I got word from Doug that Jake passed away on the 6th of June. For those who don't know, Jake was the bassett hound we had a lifetime ago when we lived together in Enid and eventually in Edmond and Oklahoma City. While living in Enid we were visiting Oklahoma City and made the impulse purchase of Jake at a local pet store (not too long after the untimely demise of Sam I, our first beagle). He was a tri-colored basset hound (mostly black and white) with giant feet and ears that hung well to the ground. Not 24 hours after getting him home he became deathly ill and had to spend a couple days with the vet (puppy mill fever I think). After that the grumpy turd went on to live more than a decade! I'm not sure what makes me more sad, Jake's demise or the fact that my world and everything in it has changes so much in the last few years. Anyhoo Jake was a good dog that I loved as much as anything in this world and I'm terribly saddened by the news and maybe more saddened that I didn't take the time to see him the last couple of years (he stayed with Doug since I didn't have a place for him living in an apartment). From what Doug tells me Sam II the beagle (Jake's buddy and nemesis) continues to do well in his aging years. I really need to pay him a visit...

Alive and kicking!

The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Just working a lot. My next day off is the 30th. Peace out!

April 26th

Click here to see what an historic day April 26th has been thoughout history!

What happens in Vegas stays on your police record!

By this time tomorrow I'm going to predict that Dann will be intoxicated... we'll see!

TWO. MORE. DAYS.

Old school Vegas. Here's what Cheapo Vegas has to say about our hotel destination, the Golden Nugget.

Three days to Vegas!

I want many of these.

5 days and counting...

Leaving FOR Las Vegas

One week to go! Longest. Week. Ever.

With Friends Like This...

Christ! Isn't birthday season over yet! (well except mine of course) From left to right: DJ, David Ba-ba-ba Barrett, Booty Taylor, Kim, Me, Jimmy, Ti-mon-su, Geoff, and Dann the man (isn't that ironic? Dann the man? ha ha ha). It was nice to be back at Sushi Neko for a birthday after we ventured out to The Melting Pot for Jenny's b-day. Happy birthday Taylor and Timmy! I'm next biatches!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is an action-adventure epic that tackles the mysterious circumstances that brought Meatwad, Frylock and Master Shake together. An immortal piece of exercise equipment threatens the balance of galactic peace, and it is up to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force to run away from it. Complicating matters, the Plutonians team up with the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past for ultimate control of the deadly device.

My name is...
Shake zula
The mic rula
The old schoolah
You wanna trip? i'll bring it to ya
Frylock and im on top rock you like a cop
Meatwad you up next with your knock knock
Meatwad get the money see
Meatwad get the honeys g
Drivin in my car livin like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes and im a taraus
Cuz we are the aqua teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream
Cuz we are the aqua teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream

Haha aqua teen hunger force number 1 in the hood G

April 13th can't get here soon enough! Click here for the trailer.

Easy one, I suppose...

The poets sing how Pancho fell, Lefty's livin' in a cheap hotel
The desert's quiet and Cleveland's cold and so the story ends, we're told
Pancho needs your prayers, it's true but save a few for Lefty too
He only did what he had to do and now he's growin' old.

What did all the federales say?

Bruce 1; World Wide Web 0

Just try to see in the dark
Just try to make it work
To feel the fear before you're here
I make the shapes come much too close
I pull my eyes out
Hold my breath
And wait until I shake
But if I had your faith
Then I could make it safe and clean
If only I was sure
That my head on the door was a dream

Ok smarty pants, who sang the above lyrics?

Hmmmmm...

You can look at the menu,
but you just can't eat.
You can feel the cushions,
but you can't have a seat.
You can dip your foot in the pool,
but you can't have a swim.
You can feel the punishment,
but you can't commit the sin.

Who sings this song?

Here (In Your Arms)

I like where you sleep
When you sleep, next to me
I like where you sleep... here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Gamerz-Edge Rates Zelda

"This is the first game that I have ever awarded a 10 in my six years as a reviewer, and for good reason. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is one of the defining videogames of our time. It is unquestionably one of the finest games ever released, and it is one that any gamer should experience regardless of the circumstances."

Another perfect score! WOW! Read the review here.

GameSpy Weighs in on Zelda

Five out of five stars. You can read the review here. Is it the 19th yet?

Seven Tips for Camping Out for a Wii or PS3

Swiped from Gaming Out Loud:

Tip #1: Dress the Part

If you’re camping overnight for a game console, you’re clearly a nerd and you must dress for the occasion. Show up in an Ecko sweater and you will be mocked. True gaming nerds get their clothing from places like ThinkGeek or Hot Topic. If your threads don’t feature a 1UP mushroom or the Contra code, then you’re a fucking n00b and should just turn around now and go home. Remember, first impressions are everything. Do you want this ragtag group of nerdlings to think, “Oh, he’s a Hilfiger faggot” or “Daaaamn, he’s going old-school with that Strider tee!”

Tip #2: Make Friends with those at the Front

The ones who stand in the front of the line hold all the power. Most likely, these uber-nerds have been there since 5pm the night before and have already made small chat with the manager several times. They know exactly how many consoles will be available and how the whole thing will go down in the morning. That information is priceless.

Tip #3: Bring a Handheld System

Nothing gives you more insta-cred than whipping out a DS lite while waiting for the sun to rise. Not only does it validate your nerdocity, but it can be a great way to spark conversations with others.

“Hey, is that DS lite?”
“Yes.”

Isn’t that amazing? That right there has bonded you two for life.

Tip #4: Don’t Be Yourself; Make Yourself Seem Intriguing!

Let’s face it; you’re standing in front of an EBgames at 2am on a Saturday night waiting for the Wii. You suck at life. However, those in line don’t know that yet. They think you’re just like them; dedicated fans that just by freak accident happened to have the weekend free for the 245th week in a row.

In order to gain the respect of others, put on a façade and say things that’ll spark the interest of others around you, even if they are bald-faced lies. For example, say the following: “Ah yea, the Wii was awesome when I played it at E3 this year.”

I guarantee you that every head will turn. The nerds will feel honored to be in the presence of someone who has traveled to the Promised Land that is the Los Angeles Convention Center in mid-May. You will be a mini-celebrity and you may even get Sum Poosie out of it.

Tip #5: Turn Away as Many People as You Can

You’re there for one thing and one thing only: to get yourself a console. It is in your best interest to dissuade as many people as possible from lining up with you. While you may get a console before them, they may beat you to the accessories aisle and take the only extra nunchuck controller available.

As morning breaks, you’ll see a large inflow of people. Many will drive by in their car and ask, “Are there any left?”

Ask them if they want a PS3 or Wii. When they name their system of choice, reply, “Oh no, I heard they’re out of those. We’re all waiting for the other one.”

Dog eat dog, my friend.

Tip #6: It’s Okay to Get Violent like it’s GTA3

As the clock ticks down to the store’s opening, things will get hairy. Everyone will suddenly get quiet and the line will form up rigidly. Your friends will turn into enemies and it’s literally every man for himself. It truly is an amazing spectacle of nature.

It’s at this point that someone will try to cut the line. Now, I checked with many local authorities and I have it on good faith that it is 100% okay to shout obscenities and verbally attack that person’s appearance. If he doesn’t relent, threats of bodily harm are still okay. In fact, you are even allowed to graze his skin with a dagger under six inches in length. Do not let this pigfucker get ahead of you.

Tip #7: Be Gracious in Victory OR Defeat

When the manager emerges from the store, he’ll most likely be handing out some sort of ticket that guarantees you a console. Depending on that store’s allotment and how early you got there, you may or may not get one. No matter what happens, take the resulting proceedings with pride and class.

Ah, who am I kidding?! If you get a ticket, flaunt it like it was the final piece of the Triforce. Tell the guy behind you who didn’t get one that you’ll sell yours for $50. When he agrees, say “SYKE!!” and laugh in his stupid, pitiful face.

If you didn’t get a ticket, remind everyone ahead of you that they’re sexless nerds for getting there earlier than you. Tell the losers near the end of the line to enjoy their crippled 20GB PS3. Walk away backwards, double-flippin’ them the bird. Then proceed to sob privately in your car.

Conclusion

While this list may be missing a thing or two, these tips alone are an invaluable resource for surviving the night. The most important thing to always remember is that no matter what, you MUST get a console on day one or else your validity as a true gamer will be questioned. If you don’t get a launch PS3 or Wii, all respect is lost for you. Enjoy your LeapFrog, asshole.

Here We Go!

One of the first Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess reviews can be found here! A perfect 10 out of 10 from 1UP. Looks like it's going to be a Zelda adventure for the ages. Midnight on the 19th can't get here soon enough.

New Zelda Wii Trailer!

Same music, new footage that looks better than ever.

Wii Release Games: Ubisoft's Rayman Raving Rabbids

"Rayman Raving Rabbids marks the return of the iconic video-game hero, Rayman, in his funniest and zaniest adventure ever. When the world of Rayman is threatened by a devastating invasion of crazed, out-of-control bunnies Rayman must rise up against his furry foes to foil their wicked plans. Utilizing an array of amazing new abilities, and with the help of magical creatures, Rayman must break out all the moves to save his world from these delirious bunnies and their hare-raising antics."

Description courtesy of IGN.



Definate purchase at launch.

Wii Release Games: Ubisoft's Red Steel

"An exclusive first-person action / adventure game from Ubisoft for the Nintendo Wii. Red Steel is set in both the US and Japan. Players will master both the ancient art of the katana and the sophisticated technology of modern firearms taking advantage of the emotion and immersive gameplay possible only with the Wii's remarkable controller. The title utilizes the Wii's free-hand style controller for innovation control mechanics, including allowing players are able to hold swords or guns normally or side-armed depending upon how they hold the controller while playing. Meanwhile, it's possible to block incoming attacks using the sword, too. In action, gamers will be able to jump over and take cover behind objects with the flick of the Wii controller."

"In addition to all this, you can shoot out of fishtanks, hold your gun "gangsta-style," and make the enemy submit to you...if you're feeling merciful."

Description courtesy of IGN.



Definate purchase at launch.

Wii Love The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Wii Love Zelda ii

Wii Love Zelda

What is Wii?

Wii Will Rock You

What could have been...

King of Pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

All The Things She Said

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

...

All the things she said
This is not enough

One

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one

No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Because one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know

It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday

...

One is the number divided by two

Let You Go

It's the little things that make you crazy
Like the thought of someone touching your skin
I can see you everywhere I go
You could be inside a sea of faces
It could be the rumor of your grin
Swimming the river as it flows

Don't Mess With Pete!

Say Government Cheese: Part II

Vegas: A Couple of Years Ago...

The trip begins! Everyone's happy.

The mood turns ugly on the return trip home!

I'm Officially Over Summer...

I'm ready for this kind of weather!

The Axis of Evil

After all the talk about North Korea's missle tests I started thinking about the "Axis of Evil" which lead me to a piece written by John Cleese posted below. I'm sure we all had this before in one of our email inboxes but I still get a kick out of it after a couple of years...

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China, and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil, in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we’re the best evils . . . best at being evil . . .we’re the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can’t have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it’s tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren’t the Worst But Certainly Won’t Be Asked to Host the Olympics".
Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That’s not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren’t perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in ‘guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

RIP Moose a.k.a. Eddie from Frasier

I ran across this bit of information while surfing on Yahoo. I thought of Dann immediately since he's as big a fan of the show Frasier as I am.

Fuck David Barrett: The Revenge!

So this post should have been done in April at the time of David Barrett's birthday but it took a little while for me to get a copy of the picture. Jenny came up with the awesome plan to have us all wear the "fuck David Barrett" tee shirts and as you can see David has the "fuck me" shirt. It was a riot. This weekend kicks off the beginning of gay pride week in Oklahoma City and I believe this picture encapsulates what gay pride means to me: my friends, especially Dann, Butters, Barrett, Jenny (a.k.a. Jimmy), and Kim. Our commonality and diversity is what makes our friendship and community strong. Take away the parades, the victories for equality, and the defeats and all that's left is my friends, my family and the bond we all share. I love you guys!

What exactly is Butters looking at off camera? And what's Dann doing to Randiva to elicit such a happy response?

Happy gay pride week OKC!

Cancun, Mexico: Day 4: Flea Markets and Clubs

Our final day in Cancun... just when my burn was starting to turn bronze. We took the day to go shopping, and I mean ALL FREAKIN' DAY! It's unreal the amount of time that the Brown family can spend shopping without water, food, or water closet breaks. We checked out a modern mall and a Mexican flea market as well as some tourist restaurants and shops. We also stopped in on every jewerly store within a five mile radius along the strip. The only thing I purchased all day was the traditional tee shirts for mom and dad.

Timmy and I at an outdoor shopping area.

Is there anywhere on earth that Planet Hollywood hasn't invaded?

Oh look a Hooters! We picked up an application for Fefe.

Monica and Veve in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. As I mentioned earlier I picked up a couple of shirts for mom and dad here. I'm carrying on the tradition that I belive my brother started; everytime he travels (mostly abroad) he sends us some Hard Rock shirts usually two sizes too big for anyone to wear.

Hail to the King baby!

Timmy spent 400 Pesos for a temporary tatoo that promptly starting peeling off that night.

After the shopping nightmare we relaxed for a bit to prepare for a night on the town. Timmy and I set off to hit some night spots about 11 PM. We stopped off at Carlos n'Charlie's for a couple of drinks and luckily we weren't abducted. Next we walked around the strip while fending off drug and prostitute pushers (you may want to leave the kids at the resort during this part of the trip). Not finding anything of real interest we hopped into a cab in search of the gay bars. Luckily for us the cabby was gay and knew where we needed to go. Naturally the big gay dance club was closed. We finally landed at Picante the oldest gay bar in Cancun located off the strip and in the town of Cancun itself. I have to say I had a blast even though the bar was tiny (about half the size of the Park Club) and I was the only white man to be seen! I was surprised that Timmy's Spanish was so good and grew even stronger with each drink consumed, unfortunately he couldn't figure out how to translate Jagermeister or Rumplemintz. The DJ working the club had a mixing machine that was about the size of my computer keyboard yet it was some of the best music and mixes I've heard in any upscale dance/techno club. We requested 'Dragostea din tei' ('Love in the linden tree)' by O-Zone and it was funny to hear the song in English which is rare back home. By 4 AM it was time to head back to the resort and get a little sleep before the journey home. The gay cabby I spoke of earlier waiter for us all night outside the club, what a guy! We tipped him extremely well.

During the trip I was burned by playing along the beach and pool and then tanned by playing along the beach and pool. I saw Mayan ruins, jungles, and coral reefs! I shopped and drank Mexican beer for hours at a time. The trip was fantastic and I would go back again in a heartbeat not only to partake in some of the activities from before but to find all new adventures! My previous trip to Mexico really soured me on the country but Cancun has really changed my mind.

One last shot of the beach before the return trip home.

Next up, Vegas in one week!

Cancun, Mexico Day 3: Swimming with Sharks

Day three of Cancun allowed us some time to sleep in and buy some sunscreen before the next adventure, a Jungle Tour. The name was a little deceptive since we only took some little trails through the mangrove and out into the ocean. The destination was the coral reef, second in size only to Australia's reef. Pictures below:

The boats, docked and ready to go. Timmy, Veve, and myself had one boat while Monica and Willard rode in another.

View of the jungle from the boat.

Follow the leader.

Our destination (not much to look at from above). We tied the boats together and did some snorkeling above the reef. Unfortunately none of us had an underwater camera. Throughout the trip Veve mentioned that she was afraid of having a shark encounter though we told her it was unlikely. Naturally our guide pointed out a small shark underneath us near the reef. Fortunately for Veve the shark didn't feel like Asian for lunch.

Timmy drove the boat on our return trip; it was terrifying! I've driven a boat many times in my life but never on the ocean. In the size of boat we were using it was tense at times jumping over large ocean waves and wakes from other boats. Veve drove the other boat on the return trip, we wouldn't allow her to drive ours.

The short day (about a four hour tour) allowed us some free time to do some shopping, hit the beach and pool, and enjoy the sun set seen above. It's hard to see but part of Isla Mujeres (Island of the Bitches) can be seen in the top left.

Even more to come: shop 'til you drop and Gay Cancun.

Cancun, Mexico Day 2: Welcome to the Jungle

We awoke very early on the second day for an all day adventure into the the middle of the Yucatan to visit Chichen Itza (or as we call it Chicken Pizza). This was my favorite day and site of the entire trip. Tourism information in italics.

Chichen Itza ("Mouth of the well of the itzaes") is one of the most controversial, studied and visited ruins of the mayan world. Its history and its chronology are the subject of debates and the fate of its people a puzzle that archaeologist continue to theorize about as excavation continue. The Itzaes settled in Chichen Itza in the IX Century a.C. forging a wide empire with one culture centered in Chichen Itza. Around 1250 a.C. the city was abandoned for reasons still not completely understood (the travel guide believes that drought and a revolt by the under class over the upper class was the main factors). In its Golden Era, Chichen Itza covered an area of over 25 square kilometers. The religious, cultural and administrative center covered approximately 6 square miles and was located close to the area where the elite resided in carefully decorated and brightly painted palaces. Around this central area lived between 50,000 and 100,000 people in thatch-roofed palapas or cottages.

Enough with the history lesson, more information about the Mayan civilization can be found here . On to the pictures...

Along the way to the ruins we stopped at a Mayan shopping area. So while there are still Mayans living in the Yucatan their civilization is long lost. Being the sucker tourists that we are we all bought pendants with our names spelled out in Mayan hieroglyphics. The tour guide told us that all proceeds of our purchase go directly to the Mayan people and the quality of the gold and sliver is backed by the Mexican government.

Another stop found us at one of many sink holes in the Yucatan region. These "watering holes" were formed naturally throughout the region and were a source of water for the Mayan civilization.

Finally to the ruins! Shortly after arriving we were greeted with cloudy weather and a brief shower of rain. Being burnt from head to toe I was thankful for the lack of sun.

Temple of the Observatory. The Mayans were keen astronomers because of their worship of the sun. They developed a 365 day calendar long before Europe and the Gregorian calendar.

Temple of the warriors and Square of the 1,000 columns. Believed to be a market place and similar in design to other ancient market places of the time.

Ball court and Tzompantli. Being the captain of the winning team in competition earned you the "honor" of a sacrifice. Yikes! You can see Timmy ahead in the picture half-naked as usual.

The Castle of Kukulcan rising 30 meters from the earth is the most impressive building. It's age is difficult to calculate, being estimated between 650 and 800 a.C. The numbers of its different measurements relate to digits in the maya solar calendar; for example, 91 steps on 4 sides, or 364; plus the platform, 365, the number of days in a year. The five adornments on each side of the temple are 5 X 4 or 20, the number of days in a maya month. The building, revealing the profound knowledge of the mayas, every year during equinox demonstrates the descending of the god Kukulkan, "The Feathered serpent", to earth, in a light and shadow phenomenon that every year attracts visitors from all over the world.

Timmy and I in front of the north side of the temple in front of the head of the god Kukulkan. As you can see the transformation into Lobster Boy is nearly complete.

One last shot of me in front of the castle soaked from the recent rain. Unfortunately we were unable to climb to the top of the castle as it has been restricted since an accident involving a tourist who fell to her death from the structure.

Still to come: boating to the coral reef, shopping, more shopping, and even more shopping. Did I mention we did some shopping?

Cancun, Mexico Day 1: Cooked Medium or Well?

We arrived in Cancun on June 3rd on a flight from Dallas/Fort Worth early in the morning. After a couple of hours of immigration and travel to the hotel RIU Caribe we hit the beach and the booze. Here's some highlights of the first days activities spent at the resort:

View of the beach from a small bar where we had our first Mojito, Pina Colada, and Cerveza.

The Mexican bathrooms left a lot to be desired. It appears Timmy forgot the TP!

View of the resort from in the water.

Veve practicing for the Village People YMCA dance competition.

Timmy after his tenth Mojito.

A special vacation message to Fefe who was left behind to toil in the States. Contrary to the spelling we don't mean to say a garden tool.

From the ocean to the pool.

Taking a siesta.

Comming soon in future posts: Lobster Boy sightings, a journey to the Heart of Darkness, speedboat Shimmy, and Montezuma's Revenge!

Jesus, Save Me From Your Followers!

I encourage everyone to visit http://www.joshuajantz.com/ and let Josh know what we think about his kOoKy politics. He can take the prayer for my salvation, wrap it up in a hedge of thorns and shove it up his ass. Thanks to Dad for the information!

Say Government Cheese!

Fuck David Barrett!