Friday, June 24, 2005

Dave's World

So this is my first blog. My name is Dave... see title. Before I jump right into this thing here's some information my neice emailed me. I'm from Oklahoma and you know you're from Oklahoma if:

You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha.
You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.
A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You measure distance in minutes.
You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."
It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.
Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
You know cow pies are not made of beef.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.
You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is a GT is a status symbol.
You know everything goes better with Ranch.
You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your friends.

Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

KNOW YOURSTATE MOTTO


Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.


Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!


Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat.


Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything.


California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.


Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.


Connecticut
Like Massachusetts,
Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.


Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.


Florida
Ask Us About Our Grand kids.


Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.


Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)


Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"


Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free


Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn


Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States


Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names


Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.


Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster


Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It


Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's


Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians


Minnesota
10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes


Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State


Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Very Little Else.


Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest


Nevada
Hookers and Poker!


New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone


New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right here!


New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets


New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right
To An Attorney...


North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable


North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!


Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan


Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing


Oregon
Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner


Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal


Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island


South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually SurrenderYet


South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota


Tennessee
The Edyoocashun State


Texas
Se Hablo Ingles


Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus


Vermont
Ay, Yep


Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?


Washington
We have more rain than you do


West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!


Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

Dave said...

Very funny and very true in some cases!