Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Bizarro World

Bizarro World - a place where everything is inverted, backwards, or just not right but similar.

I feel as though I'm living in Bizarro World. Examples:

The Dallas Cowboys are 1-7 half way through the regular season.

Though it's November it's 90 motherfucking degrees in my office.

The Oklahoma State Cowboys football team is in lone possession of first place in the Big 12 South.

The Texas Longhorn's football record thus far is 4-5.

The Oklahoma City Thunder are playing lousy defense.

Conan O'Brien has a show on TBS.

John Boehner with be the Speaker of the House in the 112th Congress.

A lot of drama went down Sunday night and I wasn't involved!

I'm telling you there's something weird in the air these days, or maybe I'm just bored...


Mr Happy said...

I’ve wondered lately what I’d be like if I became my own antithesis; the upside down, inside out, inverted version of me. Would I walk backwards on my elbows and hold my coffee cup with my toes? Or would I be an arrogant, drunk, full of shit barfly with a pharmaceutical problem? If I drowned my soul in a bottle of booze, would I be Living My Dream? Or just Circling The Drain? Or is there any difference in Bizzaro World?

Dave said...

I think it's the same in Bizzaro World. If I were really living in Bizzaro World I would love my job and people in general and be an around happy go lucky kind of guy! ;)

Mr Happy said...

Maybe if you were living in Bizzaro World, you'd have something to show for the past 6 years besides how much alcohol you've consumed or how many guys you've ... eaten. Maybe some marketable job skill other than the (not good enough) one I gave you and fetching ranch dressing. Maybe a quality relationship with someone who is good enough. Maybe some political achievement other than bitching on your blog. Maybe writing a book that actually says something, instead of sitting around reading books that don't. Maybe something besides 6 years of being drunk, bitter and miserable.

Maybe that's the question I had for you at the beginning of the summer - though I didn't know it or ask it right. So let me ask you now. It would go something like this:

"David, I know that whatever I had to offer isn't/wasn't good enough. It's been six years. What have you found that's better?"

Maybe, if you answer that question with something that makes sense and isn't bullshit, I'll go ahead and allow you to ignore me out of existence, and send you back to the abyss I helped drag you out of back "then".

What do you got?

Dave said...

Yeah, in between "fetching" ranch dressing I was working eight weeks straight without a day off, making a weekly schedule for 30+ employees, cooking and expediting food on a kitchen line, ordering and maintaining various weekly inventories, balancing daily/nightly books, and reviewing P and L statements in an effort to control costs (I had some of the best liquor costs in the history of the store).

Oh, and the last guy that was "eaten" actually turned out to be a girl, but that just goes to show you know nothing about me...

Through all the snark I'm mostly satisfied with my life. I have a great family and great friends and those are more important than anything! For what I'm not happy about, I've been working on very hard. In a few months I will be completely out of debt (a task that has taken years to accomplish) and then the sky is the limit. I will have the freedom to do or go where I want, including maybe to a larger city or a more satisfying job even if the pay is lower.

I'll be sure to think more on what you've said in this response the next time I'm on the toilet taking a shit...

Mr Happy said...

Thanks, Dave. As promised, you now have my permission to ignore me completely from here on.

You have been most helpful this summer, whether you realize it or not. I'm sorry I had to be a shithead, but that's what you get for picking a fight.

Over the course of our conversation (if you can call it that) I completely understand now that I would never have survived the past six years the way things were in 2004. Not with you, and not with work. I also know that I have no part in either at this point. Whatever impact I had all those years ago is as obsolete and irrelevant as a seven year old playstation. (This knowledge helps me work though my own debt issues, all of which came from believing that MOS would someday be a success. But I digress to things that concern you not.)

I never did have a problem with the outcome of the events in 2004, not since two days after I left. But I've always had a problem with the process - and that issue became very intense this year for some reason.

Overall, I'm happy to be where I am too. I will, from this point forward, view my Exodus from you and MOS as Deliverance and Providence rather than an appalling betrayal. And that's a good thing - a positive move forward. I really needed to understand that. I'm not particularly proud or impressed with either you or MOS, nor am I dismayed or disappointed. It is what it is; What it could have been is bullshit.

Se ya around.