Severe Weather Season is Finally Here!

That means it's time for severe weather bingo!

Personally I prefer the Gary England drinking game...

Screw This: Fire and Brimestone Edition!

One of the favorite past times of any self respecting Oklahoman is bitching about the weather. We're like the Goldilocks of America. It's too hot, it's too cold, it's too windy, we need rain! As of right now it's too fucking hot. The graph above is one of the more conservative estimates I've seen around the local web sites. Some forecasts say we could hit highs between 108 and 110 next week. My yard is completely dead, did I mention we're in a drought as well?

The sign from Moore Liquor Marquee isn't too far from the truth. Check out their Facespace page for more of their marquee shenanigans. They seem to have a comment on everything under the sun especially fighting the Christians of south Oklahoma City (my favorite).

Fortunately I'm going to miss some of this dreadful heat as I'll be heading east next week to relax on a little island called Manhattan!

Approaching the weather in a glass is half full kind of way, today is supposed to be the hottest average day in Oklahoma. From this point, as an average, the weather will slowly cool down as we march toward spring. Something to look forward to, no?

News Around the Country

Everyone's favorite bat shit crazy Teabagger, Representative Michele Bachmann announced her candidacy for the Presidency yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa. There's a great story by Matt Taibbi in the latest issue of Rolling Stone discussing Bachmann's rise to politics and why she should actually be taken seriously.

"Bachmann is a religious zealot whose brain is a raging electrical storm of divine visions and paranoid delusions. She believes that the Chinese are plotting to replace the dollar bill, that light bulbs are killing our dogs and cats, and that God personally chose her to become both an IRS attorney who would spend years hounding taxpayers and a raging anti-tax Tea Party crusader against big government. She kicked off her unofficial presidential campaign in New Hampshire, by mistakenly declaring it the birthplace of the American Revolution. 'It's your state that fired the shot that was heard around the world!' she gushed. 'You are the state of Lexington and Concord, you started the battle for liberty right here in your backyard.'"

A subscription to Rolling Stone is worth it just for Taibbi's articles.

Wisconsin takes its politics seriously:

"Liberal Justice Ann Walsh Bradley has accused conservative Justice David Prosser of trying to choke her during an argument in her state Capitol office on June 13, the day before the court handed down a decision upholding a new law that eliminates most public employees' collective bargaining rights. Prosser has denied the allegations."

Wow. What a bunch of asshattery! Either a Supreme Court Judge is trying to kill a colleague or someone is lying about it. I'm siding with Justice Ann Walsh Bradley, you know, because conservatives are kooky!

Coinciding with many Gay Pride events around the country, the New York State Legislature passed a same-sex marriage measure, becoming the sixth and largest state to do so. What makes this amazing, to me, is that the passage of the bill was a bipartisan effort in the Senate where Republican votes were needed to get the bill to Governor Cuomo. I'm sure Oklahoma will follow the Empire State's lead... in about 20 years.

Asteroid 2011 MD came within 7500 miles of impact with the Earth before being hurled out the planet's way. Holy shit! Though the asteroid was only the size of a bus, what I find disturbing is that it wasn't detected until last week. It really goes to show how fragile our little blue rock in space may be.

A friend of mine posted on Facespace that Democrats make the best lovers. Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant?

Finally, in an extremely rare event, water fell from the heavens this morning coating the mangled yards of many Oklahoma City residents. Scientists are calling this unusual phenomenon "rain," but are assuring a panic stricken public that all should be back to normal the rest of the week with clear skies and temperatures ranging between 101 and 105 degrees!

So what's everyone else reading about this morning?

Wild Day in Oklahoma

Nearly six years ago the first blog post I ever made was a list stating "you know you're from Oklahoma if". Among the list was this:

"A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel."

While this this almost always true, yesterday was an exception to the rule, for me anyways. There were so many storms in the metro area yesterday that I felt compelled to travel to my parents house who have an underground shelter. Several tornados were reported to touch down in areas around Oklahoma City killing several people and injuring many more. Luckily the storms didn't hit any heavily populated areas. Still it was a little scary and reminiscent of the May 3rd tornados of 1999.

I once had a friend who lives in another part of the country ask my how we can deal with this kind of weather during the spring with the potential of such a destructive force sometimes out of the blue. Most Oklahomans have dealt with the threat of tornados their whole lives and we're accustom to watching the weather particularly during the spring, not to mention we have a state of the art early warning system and a weather news force that just loves to break in to TV and radio programming, sometimes it seems when it isn't necessary.

It wasn't so long ago that early warning systems weren't very reliable or science didn't understand how tornados worked. My father tells me that when he was a child people believed that his town of Woodward, Oklahoma couldn't be hit easily by this kind of weather because a river was so close to town and everyone knew a tornado couldn't cross water! He and his family was fortunate to survive the Woodward tornado of 1947 while they attended the theatre downtown. 107 people lost their lives that night in this one town alone with a destruction of 100 city blocks.

If you think about it, though, all areas of the country have their dangers. In the far north and northeast the winters can be bitterly cold. In the far south and southeast one has to contend with hurricanes from time to time. In the west an earthquake can be quite a scary experience I would imagine. Most areas also have times when they are subject to extreme flooding, ice or snow storms, and drought.

What I'd like to hear back from any readers out there is what is your most harrowing encounter with Mother Nature or a natural disaster? Luckily for me the worst I've ever experienced is the threat of an impending tornado but I was always fortunate enough to miss the storm or be in close proximity to a basement or shelter.

April in Oklahoma...

... means 90 degree weather. What the hell? I'm all for warmer weather but not this warm this early in the season!


At this rate it's gonna be too warm for tornados!

On tap for my favorite month of the year:

All month: warmer weather means the return of the best season for Sunday Funday, patio brunches and patio bar crawling!

9th - 10th: 29th Annual Redbud Classic. This involves running, walking or biking. I'm out!

16th: NBA playoffs begin. Thunder up!!

19th: this date marks the 16th anniversary of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Though this date marks a time of remembrance for Oklahomans and indeed the rest of the nation, any day of any month is a good time to visit this fantastic and sad memorial.

21st: Matt's birthday. One of my besties though he even isn't sure how old he'll be (it's a long story).

26th - May 1st: Oklahoma City Festival of the Arts. One of the best outdoor events to be held yearly in Oklahoma City. Great food, drinks, and art! It also coincides with my birthday every year.

26th: Davemas!! Number 38.

29th - May 1st: Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. Once again, too much exercise for me. I'm sticking with the 12 ounce curls.

I love this month and this time of year! What's everyone else doing for the glorious month of April?

Screw This! Snowzilla 2011!

This is what I love about Oklahoma weather, a couple of days ago it was in the 70's! They expect anywhere from 6 inches to a foot of snow in Oklahoma City with wind gusts up to 50 miles per hour. I think I'll be staying in all day today...

Screw This The Revenge!

I hate this time of year in Oklahoma. It's so freaking hot it just sucks the life out of everything and everyone. Oklahoma's favorite son Will Rogers famously said, "if you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, just wait a minute." Unfortunately in August we're just waiting to see how many days above 100 we'll have. I'm so ready for fall.

When It Rains It Pours!

There's some crazy flooding going on in the Oklahoma City metro area right now. Dann text me this picture near Douschapeake!

Sunday Funday Monday VI

What's the best case scenario for a successful Sunday Funday? Someone's birthday celebration? Check. Awesome patio weather? Check. Golf ball sized hail? Um no.


Everyone met up at Pearl's Oyster Bar (they were out of oysters!!) for Kim's official birthday celebration. After food and drinks we headed to Edna's for some Lunchboxes and then the storm rolled in...





Everyone's car at the bar was pretty much messed up! Since Sunday Funday came to an early end (for Kim anyways) we should reschedule later in the week for sushi. Well maybe not, I'm just always looking for an excuse to eat raw fish...

Edit: 400th post!

Screw This Again!

So the Oklahoma media is talking up the next winter storm system that's about to grace our state. Usually they seem to over exaggerate the weather around here, in my opinion; however, I will say that the last two weather events they predicted were correct, the blizzard on Christmas last month and the arctic weather a couple of weeks ago. I'm actually hoping for some nasty weather so I can work from home. Since I do so little work anyways, working from home is like having a day off. Bring it Mother Nature (just no power outages please)!

Screw This!

A low of 2 degrees on Saturday? Really? I'm already freezing my ass off at home in my drafty old house. Do they make electric Snuggies yet?