"This is the first game that I have ever awarded a 10 in my six years as a reviewer, and for good reason. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is one of the defining videogames of our time. It is unquestionably one of the finest games ever released, and it is one that any gamer should experience regardless of the circumstances."
Another perfect score! WOW! Read the review here.
Friday, November 17, 2006
GameSpy Weighs in on Zelda
Five out of five stars. You can read the review here. Is it the 19th yet?
Seven Tips for Camping Out for a Wii or PS3
Swiped from Gaming Out Loud:
Tip #1: Dress the Part
If you’re camping overnight for a game console, you’re clearly a nerd and you must dress for the occasion. Show up in an Ecko sweater and you will be mocked. True gaming nerds get their clothing from places like ThinkGeek or Hot Topic. If your threads don’t feature a 1UP mushroom or the Contra code, then you’re a fucking n00b and should just turn around now and go home. Remember, first impressions are everything. Do you want this ragtag group of nerdlings to think, “Oh, he’s a Hilfiger faggot” or “Daaaamn, he’s going old-school with that Strider tee!”
Tip #2: Make Friends with those at the Front
The ones who stand in the front of the line hold all the power. Most likely, these uber-nerds have been there since 5pm the night before and have already made small chat with the manager several times. They know exactly how many consoles will be available and how the whole thing will go down in the morning. That information is priceless.
Tip #3: Bring a Handheld System
Nothing gives you more insta-cred than whipping out a DS lite while waiting for the sun to rise. Not only does it validate your nerdocity, but it can be a great way to spark conversations with others.
“Hey, is that DS lite?”
“Yes.”
Isn’t that amazing? That right there has bonded you two for life.
Tip #4: Don’t Be Yourself; Make Yourself Seem Intriguing!
Let’s face it; you’re standing in front of an EBgames at 2am on a Saturday night waiting for the Wii. You suck at life. However, those in line don’t know that yet. They think you’re just like them; dedicated fans that just by freak accident happened to have the weekend free for the 245th week in a row.
In order to gain the respect of others, put on a façade and say things that’ll spark the interest of others around you, even if they are bald-faced lies. For example, say the following: “Ah yea, the Wii was awesome when I played it at E3 this year.”
I guarantee you that every head will turn. The nerds will feel honored to be in the presence of someone who has traveled to the Promised Land that is the Los Angeles Convention Center in mid-May. You will be a mini-celebrity and you may even get Sum Poosie out of it.
Tip #5: Turn Away as Many People as You Can
You’re there for one thing and one thing only: to get yourself a console. It is in your best interest to dissuade as many people as possible from lining up with you. While you may get a console before them, they may beat you to the accessories aisle and take the only extra nunchuck controller available.
As morning breaks, you’ll see a large inflow of people. Many will drive by in their car and ask, “Are there any left?”
Ask them if they want a PS3 or Wii. When they name their system of choice, reply, “Oh no, I heard they’re out of those. We’re all waiting for the other one.”
Dog eat dog, my friend.
Tip #6: It’s Okay to Get Violent like it’s GTA3
As the clock ticks down to the store’s opening, things will get hairy. Everyone will suddenly get quiet and the line will form up rigidly. Your friends will turn into enemies and it’s literally every man for himself. It truly is an amazing spectacle of nature.
It’s at this point that someone will try to cut the line. Now, I checked with many local authorities and I have it on good faith that it is 100% okay to shout obscenities and verbally attack that person’s appearance. If he doesn’t relent, threats of bodily harm are still okay. In fact, you are even allowed to graze his skin with a dagger under six inches in length. Do not let this pigfucker get ahead of you.
Tip #7: Be Gracious in Victory OR Defeat
When the manager emerges from the store, he’ll most likely be handing out some sort of ticket that guarantees you a console. Depending on that store’s allotment and how early you got there, you may or may not get one. No matter what happens, take the resulting proceedings with pride and class.
Ah, who am I kidding?! If you get a ticket, flaunt it like it was the final piece of the Triforce. Tell the guy behind you who didn’t get one that you’ll sell yours for $50. When he agrees, say “SYKE!!” and laugh in his stupid, pitiful face.
If you didn’t get a ticket, remind everyone ahead of you that they’re sexless nerds for getting there earlier than you. Tell the losers near the end of the line to enjoy their crippled 20GB PS3. Walk away backwards, double-flippin’ them the bird. Then proceed to sob privately in your car.
Conclusion
While this list may be missing a thing or two, these tips alone are an invaluable resource for surviving the night. The most important thing to always remember is that no matter what, you MUST get a console on day one or else your validity as a true gamer will be questioned. If you don’t get a launch PS3 or Wii, all respect is lost for you. Enjoy your LeapFrog, asshole.
Tip #1: Dress the Part
If you’re camping overnight for a game console, you’re clearly a nerd and you must dress for the occasion. Show up in an Ecko sweater and you will be mocked. True gaming nerds get their clothing from places like ThinkGeek or Hot Topic. If your threads don’t feature a 1UP mushroom or the Contra code, then you’re a fucking n00b and should just turn around now and go home. Remember, first impressions are everything. Do you want this ragtag group of nerdlings to think, “Oh, he’s a Hilfiger faggot” or “Daaaamn, he’s going old-school with that Strider tee!”
Tip #2: Make Friends with those at the Front
The ones who stand in the front of the line hold all the power. Most likely, these uber-nerds have been there since 5pm the night before and have already made small chat with the manager several times. They know exactly how many consoles will be available and how the whole thing will go down in the morning. That information is priceless.
Tip #3: Bring a Handheld System
Nothing gives you more insta-cred than whipping out a DS lite while waiting for the sun to rise. Not only does it validate your nerdocity, but it can be a great way to spark conversations with others.
“Hey, is that DS lite?”
“Yes.”
Isn’t that amazing? That right there has bonded you two for life.
Tip #4: Don’t Be Yourself; Make Yourself Seem Intriguing!
Let’s face it; you’re standing in front of an EBgames at 2am on a Saturday night waiting for the Wii. You suck at life. However, those in line don’t know that yet. They think you’re just like them; dedicated fans that just by freak accident happened to have the weekend free for the 245th week in a row.
In order to gain the respect of others, put on a façade and say things that’ll spark the interest of others around you, even if they are bald-faced lies. For example, say the following: “Ah yea, the Wii was awesome when I played it at E3 this year.”
I guarantee you that every head will turn. The nerds will feel honored to be in the presence of someone who has traveled to the Promised Land that is the Los Angeles Convention Center in mid-May. You will be a mini-celebrity and you may even get Sum Poosie out of it.
Tip #5: Turn Away as Many People as You Can
You’re there for one thing and one thing only: to get yourself a console. It is in your best interest to dissuade as many people as possible from lining up with you. While you may get a console before them, they may beat you to the accessories aisle and take the only extra nunchuck controller available.
As morning breaks, you’ll see a large inflow of people. Many will drive by in their car and ask, “Are there any left?”
Ask them if they want a PS3 or Wii. When they name their system of choice, reply, “Oh no, I heard they’re out of those. We’re all waiting for the other one.”
Dog eat dog, my friend.
Tip #6: It’s Okay to Get Violent like it’s GTA3
As the clock ticks down to the store’s opening, things will get hairy. Everyone will suddenly get quiet and the line will form up rigidly. Your friends will turn into enemies and it’s literally every man for himself. It truly is an amazing spectacle of nature.
It’s at this point that someone will try to cut the line. Now, I checked with many local authorities and I have it on good faith that it is 100% okay to shout obscenities and verbally attack that person’s appearance. If he doesn’t relent, threats of bodily harm are still okay. In fact, you are even allowed to graze his skin with a dagger under six inches in length. Do not let this pigfucker get ahead of you.
Tip #7: Be Gracious in Victory OR Defeat
When the manager emerges from the store, he’ll most likely be handing out some sort of ticket that guarantees you a console. Depending on that store’s allotment and how early you got there, you may or may not get one. No matter what happens, take the resulting proceedings with pride and class.
Ah, who am I kidding?! If you get a ticket, flaunt it like it was the final piece of the Triforce. Tell the guy behind you who didn’t get one that you’ll sell yours for $50. When he agrees, say “SYKE!!” and laugh in his stupid, pitiful face.
If you didn’t get a ticket, remind everyone ahead of you that they’re sexless nerds for getting there earlier than you. Tell the losers near the end of the line to enjoy their crippled 20GB PS3. Walk away backwards, double-flippin’ them the bird. Then proceed to sob privately in your car.
Conclusion
While this list may be missing a thing or two, these tips alone are an invaluable resource for surviving the night. The most important thing to always remember is that no matter what, you MUST get a console on day one or else your validity as a true gamer will be questioned. If you don’t get a launch PS3 or Wii, all respect is lost for you. Enjoy your LeapFrog, asshole.
Here We Go!
One of the first Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess reviews can be found here! A perfect 10 out of 10 from 1UP. Looks like it's going to be a Zelda adventure for the ages. Midnight on the 19th can't get here soon enough.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Wii Release Games: Ubisoft's Rayman Raving Rabbids
"Rayman Raving Rabbids marks the return of the iconic video-game hero, Rayman, in his funniest and zaniest adventure ever. When the world of Rayman is threatened by a devastating invasion of crazed, out-of-control bunnies Rayman must rise up against his furry foes to foil their wicked plans. Utilizing an array of amazing new abilities, and with the help of magical creatures, Rayman must break out all the moves to save his world from these delirious bunnies and their hare-raising antics."
Description courtesy of IGN.
Definate purchase at launch.
Description courtesy of IGN.
Definate purchase at launch.
Wii Release Games: Ubisoft's Red Steel
"An exclusive first-person action / adventure game from Ubisoft for the Nintendo Wii. Red Steel is set in both the US and Japan. Players will master both the ancient art of the katana and the sophisticated technology of modern firearms taking advantage of the emotion and immersive gameplay possible only with the Wii's remarkable controller. The title utilizes the Wii's free-hand style controller for innovation control mechanics, including allowing players are able to hold swords or guns normally or side-armed depending upon how they hold the controller while playing. Meanwhile, it's possible to block incoming attacks using the sword, too. In action, gamers will be able to jump over and take cover behind objects with the flick of the Wii controller."
"In addition to all this, you can shoot out of fishtanks, hold your gun "gangsta-style," and make the enemy submit to you...if you're feeling merciful."
Description courtesy of IGN.
Definate purchase at launch.
"In addition to all this, you can shoot out of fishtanks, hold your gun "gangsta-style," and make the enemy submit to you...if you're feeling merciful."
Description courtesy of IGN.
Definate purchase at launch.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
King of Pain
There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread
There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread
There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
Monday, September 18, 2006
All The Things She Said
And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head
...
All the things she said
This is not enough
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head
...
All the things she said
This is not enough
Saturday, September 16, 2006
One
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Because one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
...
One is the number divided by two
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Because one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
...
One is the number divided by two
Monday, September 11, 2006
Let You Go
It's the little things that make you crazy
Like the thought of someone touching your skin
I can see you everywhere I go
You could be inside a sea of faces
It could be the rumor of your grin
Swimming the river as it flows
Like the thought of someone touching your skin
I can see you everywhere I go
You could be inside a sea of faces
It could be the rumor of your grin
Swimming the river as it flows
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Vegas: A Couple of Years Ago...
The trip begins! Everyone's happy.
The mood turns ugly on the return trip home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)