Monday, January 31, 2011

Mary Ann in Autumn

Another journey to San Francisco via Armistead Maupin in "Mary Ann in Autumn" (287 pages). From the jacket of the book:

"Twenty years have passed since Mary Ann Singleton left her husband and child in San Francisco to pursue her dream of a television career in New York. Now a pair of personal calamities has driven her back to the city of her youth and into the arms of her oldest friend, Michael 'Mouse' Tolliver, a gardener happily ensconced with his much-younger husband.

Mary Ann finds temporary refuge in the couple's backyard cottage, where, at the unnerving age of fifty-seven, she licks her wounds and takes stock of her mistakes. Soon, with the help of Facebook and a few old friends, she begins to reengage with life, only to confront fresh terrors when her checkered past comes back to haunt her in a way she could never have imagined.

After the intimate first-person narrative of Maupin's last novel,
Michael Tolliver Lives, Mary Ann in Autumn marks the author's return to the multicharacter plotlines and darkly comic themes of his earlier work. Among those caught in Mary Ann's orbit are her estranged daughter, Shawna, a popular sex blogger; Jake Greenleaf, Michael's transgendered gardening assistant; socialite DeDe Halcyon-Wilson; and the indefatigable Anna Madrigal, Mary Ann's former landlady at 28 Barbary Lane.

More than three decades in the making, Armistead Maupin's legendary Tales of the City series rolls into a new age, still sassy, irreverent, and curious, and still exploring the boundaries of the human experience with insight, compassion, and mordant wit."

There's not too much I can add to this blog entry that the information above doesn't cover without giving too much away. I really enjoyed Maupin's latest installment in the "Tales of the City" series. Combining old and new characters alike it's really a lot of fun to revisit the characters I've know for a couple of decades. This latest novel also ties up an old story line that was originally began in the original trilogy. Another fun and satisfying read from Maupin. Recommended.

"I just don't understand, that's all."
"Understand what?"
"Why the universe hands me such random shit."
Anna's smile was inscrutable. "Sometimes the universe has a slow day."

"It all goes so fast, she thought. We dole out our lives in dinner parties and plane flights, and it's over before we know it. We lose everyone we love, if they don't lose us first, and every single thing we do is intended to distract us from that reality."

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Michael Tolliver Lives

Reading at home away from my old job and the three stooges is much more enjoyable! After 18 years Armistead Maupin returns to San Franscisco to revisit the life of Michael Tolliver in the novel "Michael Tolliver Lives" (277 pages). From the book jacket:

Michael Tolliver, the sweet-spirited Southerner in Armistead Maupin's classic Tales of the City series, is arguably one of the most widely loved characters in contemporary fiction. Now, almost twenty years after ending his groundbreaking saga of San Francisco life, Maupin revisits his all-too-human hero, letting the 55-year-old gardener tell his story in his own voice.

Having survived the plague that took so many of his friends and lovers, Michael has learned to embrace the random pleasures of life, the tender alliances that sustain him in the hardest of times.
Michael Tolliver Lives follows its protagonist as he finds love with a younger man, attends to his dying fundamentalist mother in Florida, and finally reaffirms his allegiance to a wise octogenarian who was once his landlady.

Michael Tolliver Lives is a stand alone novel, accessible to old and new readers alike, a reassuring number of familiar faces appear along the way. As usual, the author's mordant wit and ear for pitch-perfect dialogue serve every aspect of the story—from the bawdy to the bittersweet. Michael Tolliver Lives is a novel about the act of growing older joyfully and the everyday miracles that somehow make that possible.

This may be one of my favorite books in the "Tales of the City" series from Maupin. Rediscovering a character I first came to know nearly 20 years ago was very gratifying. The writing was usual Maupin with a nice balance of humor and drama. Only the style, written this time from Michael's perspective, was the only real noticeable difference in the 18 years between books. The story brings us up to date with all the characters in the series for ill and good.

I have to admit that I was a little sad while reading this novel. I couldn't help feeling I've grown older with Michael with my own ups and downs over the last 20 years. The book was touching with a strong emphasis on family and how your family isn't necessarily by blood. I laughed out loud at several points and was moved to tears near the end, never a bad thing in a read. Highly recommended by "Tales of the City" fans and I think accessible to those who have never read the series.

"There is no fifth destination."


The movie is good, the novel is so much better. I just read "Sleepers" (404 pages) by Lorenzo Carcaterra. From the jacket of the book:

"This is the true story of four young boys. Four lifelong friends. Intelligent, fun-loving, wise beyond their years, they are inseparable. Their potential is unlimited, but they are content to live within the closed world of New York City's Hell's Kitchen. And to play as many pranks as they can on the denizens of the street. They never get caught. And they know they never will.

Until one disastrous summer afternoon.

On that day, what begins as a harmless scheme goes horrible wrong. And the four find themselves facing a year's imprisonment in the Wilkinson Home for Boys. The oldest of them is fifteen, the youngest twelve. What happens to them over the course of that year--brutal beatings, unimaginable humiliation--will change their lives forever.

Years later, one has become a lawyer. One a reporter. And two have grown up to be murderers, professional hit men. For all of them, the pain and fear of Wilkinson still rages within. Only one thing can erase it.


To exact it, they will twist the legal system. Commandeer the courtroom for their agenda. Use the wiles they observed on the streets, the violence they learned at Wilkinson.

If they get caught this time, they only have one thing left to lose: their lives.

Sleepers is the extraordinary true story of four men who take the law into their own hands. Brilliantly written, it is a searing portrait of a system gone awry and of the people--some innocent, some not so innocent--who must suffer the consequences. At the heart of Sleepers is a sensational murder trial that ultimately gives devastating, yet exhilarating, proof of street justice and truly defines the meaning of loyalty and love between friends. Told with great humor and compassion, even at its most harrowing, Sleepers is an unforgettable reading experience. It will leave you breathless."

I grabbed this book from my mom's collection a couple of weeks ago, knowing the story since I'd seen the movie years ago. Like many good books that were made into good movies there isn't a lot more the novel offers except a little more detail of the characters and their time together, especially growing up in Hell's Kitchen before the traumatic events that scarred all of them for life. The story is touching, funny, and horrific all at the same time. Well written by Caracterra, it's a book you can literally speed through in a day, and as compelling as the story is, you'll want to. Highly recommended, even to those, like myself, who may have seen the movie first.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

I'm not sure if my blogging schedule will ever return to normal. I've started training at a new job. It's so gratifying to know that I will never have to set foot in that wretched place again where I spent Monday through Fridays over the last couple of years. Cheers!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Ace Meme, Part One

The rumors of my demise have been unfounded, I've just been taking a break from everything including blogging. Here's the latest Sunday Stealing:

Cheers to all of us thieves!

I really don't have too many scars. I have a scar from a burn on my calf from a motorcycle exaust pipe.

A cartoon cell of Tinkerbell, a print a bought at an auction for an AIDS benefit, and some black and white photos.

I'm told that I've done or do all three.

All kinds, top 40, dance, house, techno, musicals, classical. Basically most kinds except most country and hard core rap.

If I'm not mistaken in the afternoon, around two.

A freakin' winning lottery ticket!

A lot of possessions and some friends I never see anymore.

I have no clue. My house?


Not very often.

No. I'm more afraid of what's in the dark.

No comment.

Dying in a plane crash at the start of a vacation instead at the end of one.

Brown hair and blue eyes but I'm not too picky.

Not in Oklahoma. It's illegal for me to marry here.


Extra sauce or jalapenos.


Orange of course! I like blue too.

If we're talking about those little cheesey crackers then the answer would be yes.

I have no clue.

I always have one or two brewing.



Hard to say. It would have to narrowed down to a genre for me to come up with a reasonable answer.

A rock. He lives on the front porch.

Hey dumbass, see the answer to 26.

Sure, is there really a choice who you love?


Brunettes. "Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D! Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me!"

Isn't this asked on every meme? "Bitter party of one your table's ready!"

Vegas, Chicago, or a hole in the wall bar.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

New Year Minutes

I've been dreading transcribing the minutes from our little New Year's Eve party at Dann's house. They're three large pages long, definitely a record, mostly due to Susan. I'm only doing this because I told everyone I would post them. Here goes:

9:03 PM - David - "It's the night of cowbell!"
9:10 PM - David - "Don't name your dog Felicia, name it Sharks with Lasers."
9:22 PM - Unknown - More "Phantom," Matt's happy.
9:24 PM - Matt - "This song needs more cowbell."
9:27 PM - Unknown - "Bitches still aren't here." :(
9:30 PM - "Masquerade." David says, "Matt, if you don't know it, don't sing it." Matt replies, "fuck you Nancy."
9:32 PM - Matt - "I'm not listening to anymore bullshit tonight."
9:43 PM - David - "Don't touch the hair!"
9:48 PM - Unknown - "Wicked" begins and David blows a belch in Matt's face.
10:00 PM - Dann - "Oh my god, you have an ass load back there."
10:10 PM - Matt's pants undone, does first Sake ever.

Meanwhile at the 7-11...
Mel - "Wow, this place is packed."
Jackie - "People gotta get their shit."
Mel - "Look at all those ho's! They told me to get ice outta that one!!" (Girls run by holding their boobs while a crackhead in a white fluffy coat tells a cop about getting run over in the parking lot.)

10:15 PM - Jackie - "They're used to having hard stuff up their asses, they don't mind it."
10:15 PM - Unknown - "Is this TP soft enough?"
10:16 PM - Susan - Screams: "I have wine glasses! I drink Dr. Pepper out of them."
10:21 PM - Unknown - "Before we get too drunk to understand the rules, let's play."
10:22 PM - Susan was a bitch to Matt, and Mel said, "she's just snarly."
10:30 PM - DB's smelling the stanky leg.
10:32 PM - He's still smelling the stanky leg!
10:35 PM - Susan's first snort.
(In the top left hand corner of page 2 there's a "Susan Snorts" box with slashes for each time she snorted, apparently. It has five marks in it.)
10:50 PM - The boogie won it.
10:55 PM - The "Indian Jones" theme song breaks out... followed by "Kalimar!!"
10:57 PM - Wawa.
11:18 PM - Just remember, Justin got here!
11:21 PM - David - "Oh my god, Matt is a douche!"
11:27 PM - Justin - "I have crab in my teeth."
11:30 PM - Justin - "We need one more person."
11:31 PM - Mel locked herself in the bathroom!
11:32 PM - Unknown - "Yaaaard!"
11:33 PM - Jackie - "Do you want to be one of the girls?"
11:39 PM - Jackie - "Let's wait 'til after 12."
11:40 PM - Unknown - "Let's rock, paper, scissor for Justin."
11:41 PM - Unknown - "Who's Ashley?"
11:43 PM - Justin - "I stopped the flow! Give me a tampon quick!"
11:45 PM - Sake shot! Susan says, "my nipples are hard."
11:47 PM - Matt broke the camera. (Matt did not.) It just stopped working.
11:50 PM - (Something scratched out about Dann.)
12:00 AM - Happy New Year!
12:00 AM - Matt - "Never wanted to ring in the New Year with any other fantastic people, my besties, the reason I wake up and go to work everyday, so I can spend the weekend with these awesome people."
12:00 AM - DB - "I wish I were dead!"
12:00 AM - Matt - "Whatever."
12:00 AM - Unknown - "A better year for everyone!"
12:10 AM - Unknown - "I wish all my friends here tonight have a happy and prosperous new year and lots of sex. Merry Christmas. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?"
12:12 AM - Unknown - "I wanna be a better person in general. Done!"
12:15 AM - Unknown - "My New Year's wish is that the family that is gathered here tonight will be together to celebrate another NYE together again..."
12:16 AM - Unknown - "David stole my thunder with a slut story."
12:20 AM - David - "I'm so blessed to have the best friends in the world!!!"
12:21 AM - Matt is impressed and gushes.
12:22 AM - Text at 12:15 AM to Mel. Susan got stuck in the bathroom too!!
12:35 AM - Susan - "I am good at brown."
12:36 AM - Unknown - "Too bad Cristina's not here."
12:39 AM - Unknown - "What's TRD? TURD, no TRENDS!"
12:46 AM - Unknown - "OK Ross Perot you can finish."
01:05 AM - Unknown - "This sucks!"
01:05 AM - Unknown - "Way too competitive over Trivia Pursuit!"
01:06 AM - (Unintelligible writing.)
01:07 AM - Matt - "We already have brown pie!"
01:19 AM - Unknown - "Ready, ok, poop."
01:29 AM - Unknown - "I heard shitty bear."
01:35 AM - Wicked serenade, excluding Swooos.
01:40 AM - Justin - "We need a pink."
02:12 AM - Matt - "That's my dawg!!"
02:43 AM - Unknown - "Oh my god it's Barbara (Streisand)."
03:18 AM - Waiting on Jackie.
04:03 AM - Unknown - "Fuck Jerry Orbach!!"

Meanwhile at 7-11...
Just kidding!

Well that was fun. As you can see the minutes really started to deteriorate after midnight. I hope my friends appreciate all this typing I did this morning at work, it was cutting into my sleeping time!

The Confession

I rarely read John Grisham books on a regular basis anymore. Like many authors who churn out a book or two every year (Stephen King), their stories become stale and lack the punch of earlier writings. I began reading "The Confession" (418 pages) simply because it was available, a Christmas present from my mom. From the inside cover of the book:

For every innocent man sent to prison, there is a guilty one left on the outside. He doesn’t understand how the police and prosecutors got the wrong man, and he certainly doesn’t care. He just can’t believe his good luck. Time passes and he realizes that the mistake will not be corrected: the authorities believe in their case and are determined to get a conviction. He may even watch the trial of the person wrongly accused of his crime. He is relieved when the verdict is guilty. He laughs when the police and prosecutors congratulate themselves. He is content to allow an innocent person to go to prison, to serve hard time, even to be executed.

Travis Boyette is such a man. In 1998, in the small East Texas city of Sloan, he abducted, raped, and strangled a popular high school cheerleader. He buried her body so that it would never be found, then watched in amazement as police and prosecutors arrested and convicted Donté Drumm, a local football star, and marched him off to death row.

Now nine years have passed. Travis has just been paroled in Kansas for a different crime; Donté is four days away from his execution. Travis suffers from an inoperable brain tumor. For the first time in his miserable life, he decides to do what’s right and confess.

But how can a guilty man convince lawyers, judges, and politicians that they’re about to execute an innocent man?

"The Confession" was a bit of a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, Grisham is a fine storyteller who usually plucks controversial stories that are timely, in this case the possibility of the state execution of an innocent man. On the other hand the novel seems to be another by-the-numbers effort for Grisham, while written well, it just doesn't have the spark and humor of her earlier works, it just feels like I've been there and done that before. In Grisham's defence at least he can still finish a book that leaves the reader somewhat satisfied.

I enjoyed the central focus of the book, namely the death penalty in Texas, and the process by which appeals are made at the last minute and denied. Grisham, as is often the case, draws a thick line between his heroes and villains in this novel, the liberal defense attorney versus the conservative Texas detective, prosecutor, and even Governor. While I appreciate his sentiments being liberal myself and against the state taking lives, I just think that maybe the situations and characters aren't so black and white in the real world.

An easy and quick read by an author who usually knows what he's talking about when it comes to legal procedure. I enjoyed the overall premise of the novel: what would happen if an innocent man was executed in Texas? My complaints are more with the author and less with the story. As prolific as Grisham has become it's hard to not have a feeling of deja vu when reading his later works. Recommended for fans of John Grisham and fans of the genre.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Conservative Hyperbole

I love this cartoon I found the other day online. It pretty much sums up how I feel about what the loony bird conservatives have been saying for the last two plus years. With the horrendous events in Arizona last week none of the right wingers are willing to discuss if their over the top speech has any kind of impact on the recent violence. Here's a couple of examples of what I'm talking about:

"I hope that's not where we're going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I'll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out." - Sharron Angle

"I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us 'having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,' and the people -- we the people -- are going to have to fight back hard if we're not going to lose our country." - Rep. Michele Bachmann

I've had discussions with my conservative friends on Facespace about the effect that some of these quotes may have had on the nut case who decided to shoot an Arizona Congresswoman in the head. Rather than having a discussion I'm always dismissed with one of two arguments: the left in this country is just as vitriolic in their rhetoric or somehow I want to deny people their Constitutional rights to free speech or the right to bear arms.

So I'm asking anyone who cares to comment, is it possible that the kind of right wing speech we've seen over the last couple of years has had an impact on the events in Arizona? Am I being a commie pinko liberal for even bringing up the possibility that what someone says has possible repercussions? Ones views do not evolved in a vacuum.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

American Rose

I went to the book store the other day specifically looking for "American Rose" (356 pages) by Karen Abbott. I became aware of the author last October when I picked up her first book "Sin in the Second City" while in Chicago. From the inside covers:

With the critically acclaimed Sin in the Second City, bestselling author Karen Abbott 'pioneered sizzle history'” (USA Today). Now she returns with the gripping and expansive story of America’s coming-of-age—told through the extraordinary life of Gypsy Rose Lee and the world she survived and conquered.

America in the Roaring Twenties. Vaudeville was king. Talking pictures were only a distant flicker. Speakeasies beckoned beyond dimly lit doorways; money flowed fast and free. But then, almost overnight, the Great Depression leveled everything. When the dust settled, Americans were primed for a star who could distract them from grim reality and excite them in new, unexpected ways. Enter Gypsy Rose Lee, a strutting, bawdy, erudite stripper who possessed a preternatural gift for delivering exactly what America needed.

With her superb narrative skills and eye for compelling detail, Karen Abbott brings to vivid life an era of ambition, glamour, struggle, and survival. Using exclusive interviews and never-before-published material, she vividly delves into Gypsy’s world, including her intensely dramatic triangle relationship with her sister, actress June Havoc, and their formidable mother, Rose, a petite but ferocious woman who seduced men and women alike and literally killed to get her daughters on the stage.

American Rose chronicles their story, as well as the story of the four scrappy and savvy showbiz brothers from New York City who would pave the way for Gypsy Rose Lee’s brand of burlesque. Modeling their shows after the glitzy, daring reviews staged in the theaters of Paris, the Minsky brothers relied on grit, determination, and a few tricks that fell just outside the law—and they would shape, and ultimately transform, the landscape of American entertainment.

With a supporting cast of such Jazz- and Depression-era heavyweights as Lucky Luciano, Harry Houdini, FDR, and Fanny Brice, Karen Abbott weaves a rich narrative of a woman who defied all odds to become a legend — and whose sensational tale of tragedy and triumph embodies the American Dream.

Amazingly I knew next to nothing about Gypsy Rose Lee when I picked up this book. I've never even seen the musical or movie "Gypsy." I picked up Abbott's second book specifically because of her first book, "Sin in the Second City," which I read late last year, one of my favorite reads of the year. I won't go into too much detail about the book since the synopsis above pretty much covers it all. I do find the time in which the story takes place, the culture, and what was considered vice then to be very interesting. Of particular interest to me is the way in which morals seems to swing back in forth like a pendulum, much like today, driven by various conditions throughout the country.

This work of non-fiction is a great read for many reasons. Abbott's style is easy and engaging laced with many interesting tidbits about the era she is speaking on that compliments the overall story. Anyone interested in vaudeville or burlesque in the 20th century would probably also enjoy this book. The book does jump between different points in time in each chapter. One chapter may be about a period of time in the 1940's while the next may feature a period of time in the 1920's. While this wasn't an issue for me while reading, I have heard many complaints about the structure of the book from readers online.

Highly recommended.

Monday, January 10, 2011

It's Time to Take a Stand

In light of the recent assassination attempt on Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords from Arizona, I find this image a little disturbing. I haven't made a comment on this story yet as I'm still waiting on more details about the assailant.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

The First 2011 Alphabet Meme

Once again courtesy of Sunday Stealing.

Cheers to all of us thieves!

A is for Age:

B is for Beer of choice:
Fat Tire.

C is for Career:
I wish. Medical Software.

D is for favourite Drink:
Dr. Pepper, Captain and Coke, Hot Chocolate.

E is for Essential item you use everyday:
Tooth brush?

F is for Favourite song at the moment:
Tonight I'm Fucking You by Enrique Iglesias.

G is for favourite Game:
RISK for a board game, anything Metroid for a video game.

H is for Home town:
The Big Woo.

I is for Instruments you play:
Trumpet and French Horn, or at least I used to be able to play them.

J is for favourite Juice:
Cranberry or any combination containing cranberry.

K is for Kids:
Nope. I have a strong dislike for children.

L is for Last kiss:
Last night.

M is for marriage:
Nope, it's illegal for me to marry in Oklahoma.

N is for full Name:
David Michael _____.

O is for Overnight hospital stays:
Maybe once when I was a child but I don't remember it.

P is for phobias:

Q is for quote:
"Bitter party of one your table is ready!"

R is for biggest Regret:
Too many to list.

S is for sports:
Tennis and basketball.

T is for Time you wake up:
It varies on a daily basis. 7ish during the week.

U is for colour of underwear:
Black, white, or pink.

V is for Vegetable you love:

W is for Worst Habit:

X is for X-rays you've had:
The latest was a chest x-ray.

Y is for Yummy food you make:
Cooking as I type, a meatball, vegetable soup.

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus and Ox.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Zach Galifianakis

When someone prefaces a statement with "don't take offence but..." it usually isn't a compliment you're about to receive! Such was the case last night while hanging out with my friend Kim. Some random dude comes up to me and says: "don't take offence but you look like Zach Galifianakis." I think it may be time to shave the beard...

Thursday, January 06, 2011

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

My first book of 2011 was a great one, the final chapter in the Millennium trilogy, "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" (563 pages) by Stieg Larsson. From Goodreads:

This novel not only puts the cap on the most eagerly read trilogy in years; the sequel to The Girl Who Played With Fire marks the completion of its Swedish author's career: Stieg Larsson died at the age of fifty in 2004. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest is, however, too exciting and too adept to be read simply as a major author's memorial. From its onset, with 'avenging angel' protagonist Lisbeth Salander lying in intensive care, this fiction pulses forward. One British critic called it 'intricately plotted, lavishly detailed but written with a breakneck pace and verve...a tantalizing double finale—first idyllic, then frenetic.'

"The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" is a fantastic finish to the Millennium trilogy. It's unfortunate that the stories will not be continued with Larsson's untimely death. I've really grown to enjoy the multitude of characters that the author introduced and expanded upon in all three novels. In some regards this latest novel is my favorite and most disliked of the series. When the story picks up steam it's a book that's nearly impossible to put down. At other times the narrative came to a grinding halt and was a bit taxing to push through. The last novel can be extremely intricate and thus is hard for me to write a fitting recap. There are so many characters and plot lines going on at the same time that it could be easy for a reader to lose their way. This wasn't too much of an issue for me but I could see how it would potentially be a problem.

All in all a great series and a great conclusion. This novel should be read in order after "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and "The Girl Who Played With Fire." I think reading the novel on its own would be nearly impossible to fully understand. The only complaints I have about the book is the sometimes stop and go pacing and the sheer volume of characters and plots that intertwine throughout the story. Recommended.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Predictions for 2011

I've been gazing into my crystal ball today trying to get a feel for what will happen in 2011. Here's what I've seen so far...

  • Recently elected Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner will cry, in public.

  • Scientists will discover that the Mayan calendar was off a year and the world as we know it will end in December of 2011 rather than 2012.

  • Walt Disney will be unfrozen from his tomb under Disney World and will immediately produce "Song of the South II," the byline for the movie will be, "this time the racism is personal!"

  • "Cowboys and Aliens" will become the highest grossing movie in 2011.

  • The American economic and military empire will finally collapse making way for another superpower to reign supreme over the globe. A thousand years from now history books will refer to America as "Rome II: The Revenge."

  • The Fox News Network will engage in hyperbole.

  • Anwar Sadat will rise from the grave with a thirst for brains.

  • The Jewish and Muslim people of the Middle East will finally unite in peace only to be invaded by Sweden shortly after.

  • Republicans and Democrats will agree to abolish their respective political parties and create a new one-party system call Recorpricats.

  • U.S. President Obama will be impeached when it comes to light that he was actually born in The Hague, Netherlands.

  • Once again the top song of 2011 will be by a female recording artist that will have been played so much by the end of the year that test lab rats will kill themselves upon hearing it. I'm looking at you Kesha...

  • Darren McGavin will rise from the grave with a thirst for brains.

  • Christianity will fall out of vogue worldwide in favor a new cult worshipping a giant flying spaghetti monster.

  • Pat Robertson will become a proponent of the legal use of marijuana (oh wait, that already happened!).

My visions may be a little fuzzy and some of the details may be a little inaccurate, but I'm telling you, most of this shit is going down in the next 12 months!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

LOL Cats Tuesday

I'm starting a new weekly feature! LOL Cats Tuesday!! Bookmark your pages and come back here every Tuesday for the fun!!!

The first entry combines my two favorite things in the whole world, Nintendo Wii and adorable little kitty cats!

(This is a joke, I hate cats... well, moo gu gai cat and sweet and sour kitty is ok.)

Monday, January 03, 2011

2011 New Year Resolutions

As I said last year I usually don't do new year resolutions. For the second year in a row I'm going to take another crack at it. Hopefully I'll bat better than .500 this year! Here are my resolutions or goals for the year:

Debt: One of my biggest goals to accomplish this year is to finally get myself out of debt, excluding my mortgage of course. I have worked extremely hard over the last year, with the help of my dad, to pay off outstanding bills and old credit cards. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once I've paid off my bills it will open up a tremendous amount of money for me monthly. This resolution should be easily obtained.

Vices: I'm going to try to give up my most expensive and destructive vices, drinking and smoking. At some point early this year I'll try to quit smoking but I'm scared of the weight gain. The last time I quit it took me a year to lose the weight I put on in a month! Before I quite smoking I need to have some kind of exercise program in place to counteract my urge to put something in my mouth. Drinking may be more difficult as it's such a social thing to do with my friends. When I say drinking I mean to excess or drunkenness. Saturday night I was at the bar with friends, drinking water watching some football. The hardest part of the evening was not getting drunk, it was the harassment I took every two minutes from all the enablers trying to get me to have a beer or a shot. I spend an incredible amount of money and time with nothing to show for it going out and I'm simply over it, not to mention all the hang overs and foolish behavior.

Travel: I want to travel more this year. I love going on road trips and visiting interesting places, which isn't hard to accomplish living in Oklahoma City. I had some pretty fantastic times last year in Chicago (twice), Vegas, Tulsa, and Dallas. For my birthday I hope to either go back to Chicago or visit San Francisco, both comparable cost wise.

House: Once again I'm going to try to get some significant work done on my house this year. Having all the windows replaced should be a great motivator to at least get all the woodwork repainted along with texturing and painting the walls. Fortunately most of the work needed in my home is cosmetic, not including the kitchen which will require quite a bit of work and expense to modernize.

Volunteer: I have been researching some of the local charities to devote some time to in order to give back to those who are not as well off as I am. It's actually been difficult to find something that isn't religious based in this area, a definite deal breaker for me. I think I've narrowed down my search to either the local food bank or one the AIDS related organizations. Once I have a firm grasp on how I can benefit one or more of these organizations I'm sure I'll post about it.

So that's my goals for the year. How about everyone out there in reader land? Do you normally make new year resolutions and do you normally succeed or fail at keeping them?

Sunday, January 02, 2011

The Over the Edge Meme

Happy New Year everyone! The first meme of the new year from Sunday Stealing.

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. What curse word do you use the most?
Difficult to say, I use so many so often.

2. Do you own an iPod?
Of course, doesn't everyone?

3. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
I do not remember. Sucks getting old, huh?

4. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Either. If I'm in the picture I usually make a funny face.

5. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes, and it would be true often.

6. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Someone is always telling me something which shouldn't be shared.

7. What is the first thing you notice about the someone that you are attracted to?
It varies, eyes or mouth primarily.

8. What are you looking forward to?
The sweet release of death. On the short term, seeing Kathy Griffin later this month.

9. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Many, the most recent would be Dave Matthews Band.

10. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
So long I can't remember when.

11. What did you do last night?
Watched the Fiesta Bowl.

12. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
Both equally.

13. Who was the last person to make you mad?
The drunks at the bar last night, I was drinking water.

14. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
I have no clue, someone soft and fluffy.

15. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
True in love, false in war.

16. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
A winning lottery ticket.

17. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
I do.

18. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
I'm not really a FORD (fix or repair daily) man but I do have a certain fondness for yellow cars, my first car was yellow.

19. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
Where? Odd. Oklahoma City.

20. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Either is fine but I prefer the ocean.